Comments on: Chuck Norris does not know where you live…

By: EvilMastermindInTraining

EvilMastermindInTraining — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 17:28:07 +0000

Yeah, and do YOU have thousands of facts claiming your badassitude? Didn’t think so.

By: EvilMastermindInTraining

EvilMastermindInTraining — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 17:21:06 +0000

Oh please! It took millions of dollars and hours of special effects-manipulating to simulate Lee beating Norris in martial arts, because it’s almost impossible for Chuck Norris to even pretend to lose. He’s Chuck freakin’ Norris, so your argument is invalid.

By: Hortdog

Hortdog — Sat, 28 May 2011 13:16:53 +0000

Chuck Norris does not read books. He just stares at the pages until they give up the information he needs.

Superman wears Chuck Norris underware to bed.

When huck Norris goes outside. He dosent put on sunblock…the Sun puts on Chuck Block.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming..Chuck does not get wet..The water gets Chucked

By: Slitty

Slitty — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 03:05:00 +0000

I’m sorry, are his acomplishments not as good as yours? Hello, Walker Texas Ranger ring a bell?

By: Lo

Lo — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 05:49:34 +0000

I beg to differ. Chuck Norris knows all…

By: monkeyman

monkeyman — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:08:39 +0000

Everyone in the world that has ever spoken ill of chuck norris will die in 2012. Just saying!

By: monkeyman

monkeyman — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:06:51 +0000

Man named Nick dies of roundhouse kick related death.

By: littleman

littleman — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:07:38 +0000

That was just a movie and you don’t know chuck norris nor does he know you,so all you chuck norris haters all ya’ll a retarded for talking bad about someone who lives a great life and your life is makeing fun of other poepe’s lives because you don’t have a life!

By: Toa Zyphex

Toa Zyphex — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 23:17:39 +0000

lol. win

By: Metalcraze

Metalcraze — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 17:49:20 +0000

chuck norris is overated and boring

By: Steph

Steph — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:22:13 +0000

Basement Cat.

By: kat

kat — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 22:08:49 +0000

ENOUGH with chuck norris!!!

By: llc

llc — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:12:52 +0000

chuckie cheese!

By: dntfkwithchuck

dntfkwithchuck — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:00:44 +0000

Chuck Norris has a fist under his chin… Just waiting.

By: kat

kat — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:57:08 +0000

NOT!

By: kat

kat — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:56:03 +0000

I completely agree!

By: kat

kat — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:55:00 +0000

Stewie Griffin could beat Chuck Norris any day!!!

By: Anon

Anon — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:18:24 +0000

Bruce Campbell. The crevice in his amazing chin is the earthquake Chuck Norris crawled out of.

By: ComradeJuicer

ComradeJuicer — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 00:29:46 +0000

All I can say is:

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.
Chuck Norris once ate death. alive.

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 07:54:17 +0000

Haha! Awesome

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 07:53:11 +0000

@ SC and Spiral: this is not inaccurate

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 07:49:56 +0000

Just because you don’t find something funny doesn’t mean other people don’t. Let’s suppose I like Dr. Pepper, which I do; that does not mean you do. Someone needs to move you over to Fail Blog.

By: Jonny

Jonny — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:50:11 +0000

Michael Phelps

By: iamRockLee

iamRockLee — Sat, 30 May 2009 19:44:34 +0000

Fail. Bruce Lee killed Chuck Norris in Way of the Dragon. But i do agree that bruce outwins chuck by light years

By: Mistobaan

Mistobaan — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:00:27 +0000

Silvio Berlusconi?

By: Barondando

Barondando — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 08:55:36 +0000

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you’re screwed!

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

By: FalconPUNCH!

FalconPUNCH! — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:56:21 +0000

You don’t mock Chuck Norris!
You’ll pay in LIFE.

By: Cecilia

Cecilia — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 15:17:09 +0000

Keep dissing altos, and Chuck Norris will be the least of your worries. We can be pretty vicious. Unlike sopranos, we don’t have resonators where our brains should be.

By: XaceBefree

XaceBefree — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:49:44 +0000

There is nothing good about Chuck Norris. He can’t even beat up an old lady.

By: Spiral

Spiral — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:43:03 +0000

Funny jokes aren’t funny.
Oh, wait… they are…

By: Spiral

Spiral — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:42:38 +0000

Chuck wanted to see if his influence could actually cause Huck to come close to winning, but Huck was so horrible it couldn’t. Also had something to do with the pwnage that is Obama.

By: Spiral

Spiral — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:41:36 +0000

Yep, fail.

By: Spiral

Spiral — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:40:26 +0000

Hey, nice.
Bet you’re proud that “you” and “you” both rhyme.

By: Spiral

Spiral — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:39:32 +0000

Win!

By: Spiral

Spiral — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:38:16 +0000

Ooh, that was good.

By: NO

NO — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 12:53:48 +0000

YOU FAIL, FOOL!

By: googles49

googles49 — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 02:06:54 +0000

Fact:

Chuck Norris killed Bruce Lee.

Bruce may have won the fight…

…but look where they are now!

By: Barrens chat

Barrens chat — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:10:48 +0000

Yes you are WELCOME BACK TO HELL where the kodos roam and chuck will be the only thing heard about >:D

By: thatbetterguy

thatbetterguy — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:31:55 +0000

you are probably a castrato.

By: n8

n8 — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 22:07:58 +0000

sarah palin?

By: FiveFootTerror

FiveFootTerror — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 12:26:30 +0000

Lame jokes are lame!

By: will c

will c — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:17:03 +0000

why does everyone bum over chuck norris ?

By: Glarb

Glarb — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:27:39 +0000

Chuck Norris does not know how to pick politicians.
Chuck and Huck = Fail.

By: SC

SC — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:58:55 +0000

FAIL

By: OMG

OMG — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 06:24:28 +0000

Epic win

By: that1guy123

that1guy123 — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 05:57:37 +0000

no
It means you enjoy it more without stupid jokes that got old after a day
iPhone wins
When the nerd guy gets angry he turns into the hulk
When the hulk gets angry he turns into Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris gets angry he is still very very polite to his iPhone

By: that1guy123

that1guy123 — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 05:52:46 +0000

Sopranos are better than altos like you
Basses like me beat both of you

By: Aak_kills

Aak_kills — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 05:19:12 +0000

Chuch NORRIS FTW

By: Kemah

Kemah — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:13:56 +0000

I enjoy Chuck Norris jokes as much as anyone does, but seriously that joke could have had any Chuck Norris pic behind it. The joke has nothing to do with the picture except that it is Chuck Norris. I was expecting something a bit more clever like, “Chuck Norris… protecting our right to ‘bare’ arms.” Whatev.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 23:09:30 +0000

Pff! Chuck Norris eats buck shot to fortify his diet with lead.