VAMPIRES
real ones don’t sparkle….The End
They also should take showers.
(Bela Lugosi)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: dunno
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Liberace did!!!
Liberace was a homosexual. He had good reason. But i don’t think we should think much less of the “vampire” from twilight.
I believe the correct term is “meyerpire.” No self-respecting vampire would douse themselves in glitter, then go back to high school and seduce a whiny, clingy girl.
If *I* were a vampire, I’d probably end up on the FBI most wanted list for all the stuff I’d pull.
And you would know this how? You wish you could do this, but you would still be considered douche, which you are.
People who go around calling other d-words usually are the d-words themselves. : /
Ha, that’s clever! I’m going to start using that…”meyerpire”…*muses to self*
But a real vampire could do all those things without being noticed enough to end up on the FBI’s most wanted list…
I hate Twilight.
Tell me about it!!! I suffered through ALL 4 books and I am still wondering why I wasted my time reading them. She could have saved us a lot of headaches with the 4th one. GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
I feel for you.
same here. the first one was meh, bleh, okay. but the second one (god i can’t even remember the title) was just horrible. i stopped after page5 O__o.
Well you guys can just head out to the twilight hate page because no one wants to hear your petty complaints. If you don’t like it then don’t whine because I don’t want to hear it! But at least you guys actually read the books, I hate the people who don’t like the books and they haven’t even read it…grrrr that makes me mad.
Well the whole picture is saying that Twilight Sucks, so don’t complain.
wow “my mom” i agree with aran. its a pic MAKIN FUN OF twilight
gtfo douche
pic: twilight sucks. comments: twilight sucks. “your mom”: ZOMG, I WANT EDWARD TO SECKS ME TO DEATH! The books are devoid of merit. end of story.
Listen. I agree Twilight is pretty bad, but most of it is just that so many ditsy braindead girls are relentless fans. I thought “meh, not for me… ok i hate it” to the whole series but people actually like it and aren’t trying to just fit in. So jmurockstar, making fun of your mom isn’t going to make anyone think ur funny or smart. They are going to think ur just a mean, spiteful person ragging on a person who liked the series. I seriously don’t get why y’all hate the books so much. If it weren’t for the fan girls, it would probably be as accepted as Harry Potter.
Your Mom, don’t look at comments to a picture that is making fun of the books you love, if you don’t want to hear negativity. This IS basically a twilight hate page…
Either way this picture is hilarious! I always DID prefer non-sparkly vampires…
I didn’t enjoy the first book, but I gave it a shot. You can’t blame people for not reading the books after they hear about how vampires sparkle and how Bella just wants to do Edward day and night. I may have only read the first book but the rest of it looks like crap and I won’t make an effort to read the others, though the fourth one does look like lulz just because it is so stupid and random. I hear that they have sex, Bella (basically) saves the world, and they all live happily ever after in a perfect world.
Also, Your Mom, if it’s a pic bashing on Twilight, why are you even here. Just gtfo and don’t be such a douche.
So you’re a douche if you like the Twilight-series? Personally I used to like them, because they were some of the first books I could sit down and read without having to think too much – it was relaxing. After I started to read more epic stories, I found out that Twilight really wasn’t anything for me anymore, but I don’t hate it. I may seem like a party-pooper now in your little hate-club, but you’re just being an ass.
I think you’re demonstrably wrong here; given the echoes of agreement, I’d argue there’s not much evidence for the “no one wants to hear it” claim.
And if you don’t want to hear it … well, I sincerely hope no one is forcing you to come here and read these LoLs and comments.
Also – though I did finish all four books (in a single day of extreme boredom) I don’t think it’s necessary to have read them to dislike them, especially to dislike their treatment of the vampire myth (which is what this LoL addresses). If I hadn’t read them and I’d been told how Twilight vampires “work,” I could still consider it stupid. Likewise if I got a synopsis of the plot and thought it stupid, I’m not then required to suffer throgh the whole book (or series) first. Not to mention the people whose experience related to the movie rather than the books, or the behavior/attitude of the fans.
But to be honest, while both the basic plot (“girl meets vampire, love story ensues”) and the version of bloodsucker she chooses to use (Kryptonians with a dietary problem) would be red flags to me, it also just wasn’t well-written, IMNSHO.
I agree with you on most aspects. The quality of the literature–I’m meaning the nitty-gritty material–wasn’t so much the issue (Stephenie Meyer does have some skill with visualization techniques), it was mainly the way she chose to go about the whole work. Overall, yes, the errors of the series had to do with her failure of keeping the plot “believable” (by the fourth book I was physically nauseous).
I mean, seriously. Did I NEED to know exactly how you gave birth to your freaky mutant baby, Bella? That. Was. Disgusting.
I find it exceedingly refreshing that there are a few select people on the Internet that haven’t totally been subject to the deteriorating quality of the English language and American culture.
Would you agree?
i have not read any of the ‘twilight’ books or watched the movie, i am not a pre-teen or teen and that is who the books are aimed at, right? just because i don’t want to read a romance novel dressed up as a vampire story doesn’t mean i can’t have issues with the way the vampires are portrayed. i prefer a classic evil vampire to a modern hero vampire.
yea i do so get off this conversation
it is called new moon
Easier said than done. I can’t drop something unfinished. Plus, I wanted to see if something horrible would happen to her.
Me TOO. “Being a teenage girl with susperstrong, superprotective, supersexy immortal vampire/ werewolf friends sucks!” Yeah, thanks, Bella. And as if this wasn’t bad enough, Stephanie Meyer “wrote” it. >:( BAN THIS BOOK!
you ‘suffered’ through all 4 because you are secretly a hopeless romantic who loved it. And this picture doesn’t show him sparkeling because there isn’t any sunlight! The End.
No, because if he were to be exposed to sunlight, he would DIE not SPARKLE. God…
thank you!!! so many young kids probably have this idea that all vampires of fiction are the same as the idiot vampire characters they adore. sorry kids, but vampires used to be cool and they were always the bad guy.
I know. I just saw the original Bela Lugosi version of Dracula, and I loved it. I read the first and second books, but after I started reading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo for school, I saw that they(the twilight books) aren’t well-written at all.
Dude, compared to Harry Potter they’re well written.
NO! DIE HERETIC SCUM!!!!!!!!11!!!
AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!!!!!
Amen.
Dude, compared to Harry Potter they fail. the end.
I am probably falling into an Internet Troll trap, but I don’t especially care.
I have read both the Harry Potter series and the Twilight saga and I have to say, on a scale from one to ten, while HP scores at a 10+, the Twilight saga would be a -14. These books are so different that it is nearly impossible to compare them! Its like putting up your toddler’s work of art next to the Mona Lisa and expecting to have a critique between those two.
Look at my earlier comment. I explain more of my thoughts on Stephenie Meyer’s writing there.
Actually vampires can be exposed to sunlight and not die…they just aren’t as powerful
If there isn’t any sunlight, then what do you call the beam of light on his face? Moonglow?
Actually, it’s really old school special effects. In old monster movies they would reflect light onto an actor’s face to make it seem like his/her eyes were glowing.
I also read all the books. I just had to see if there was anything redeeming in any of them (also I had too much spare time in the countryside). The answer was a resounding no. However the film was one of the best comedies I’ve seen this year. When he sparkles on the mountain… I thought I’d wet myself in hysterics. It was meant to be funny, right?
Agreed! We got shush’d in the theatre during the sparkle scene! I couldn’t contain myself. Whoever sat through that scene without laughing is a robot.
And If for some reason your have to watch it again, watch for the CRAP
try at symbolism when she first sees him in the class room and the wings of a bird in the background make it look like he has wings . I LOL’d and pointed at the screen and got shushed
uh okay idiot. NO one made you read those books. jeez.
This is my favorite argument.
“I hate Twilight.”
“How can you say that!1!11!!apple I bet you didn’t even read them!!!”
“No, I read them.”
“Well, no one MADE you read them. Gawd. I mean, I realize I blabber about them constantly, but, um, why can’t you just stop obsessing over something you hate. You shouldn’t have read them then!”
“But you just said…”
“Never mind that!!1!! Edward is muh lover!!apple1!!”
Only, insert more crazy.
i know. Caption WIN
Dont dis twilight it rocks so ha!
well you suck then
well u kinda suck too. if you don’t like twilight then shut up and stop being such a loser and commenting about something you dont like because nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
No one cares.
Someone has the angries today… If you have the right to bash people who don’t like Twilight then they have the right to bash Twilight. Please don’t act like you’d throw yourself in front of a train for a book series.
Vampires
there aren’t real ones… The End.
Spoilsport.
Prove it.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Believing in something most people wouldn’t=being brave.
THANK YOU for noticing, Forlane.
You should’ve given us a spoiler alert!!!
Why don’t you invite me in so we can discuss this?
Just because vampires aren’t real doesn’t mean we don’t have a preconceived notion of what they are.
*COUGH*LIKE GOD*COUGH* He isn’t actually here so no one can tell me what does or doesn’t make him.
and the writers had the decency to stop after
the second testament, and not make four.
It takes more than an author to get crap published. Their editors should have stop them, and made them write better stuff.
Regardless of the quality of Stephenie Meyer’s writing, she has pulled in more money from the Twilight Series than most books have or ever will. Someone, somewhere, made a very good call when they decided to publish her.
Whether you like it or not, the publishers got more than their money’s worth.
You could say the same about Britney Spears’ music. Or any of the other child stars Disney is pimping.
That doesn’t make any of them talented.
And that was exactly why she kept writing, IMO. For money. Not only did the books read like crap initially, they went on to be worse and worse because she apparently didn’t care about fine writing anymore. She only wanted the share of the millions.
Sure, Twilight is about vampires. You know how I know? Because the books SUCK!
“and the writers had the decency to stop after
the second testament, and not make four.”
Rofl!
That’s not strictly a virtue. Some of those things re definitional; if I write a story about “vampires” that in no way fit the “vampire” mold (and it’s a rather permissive standard), in some respects I’m really not writing about vampires; I’m writing about something else and then borrowing the vampire’s easily-recognized name to sell books, and people aren’t obligated to be good sports about that sort of bait-and-switch.
Also, I don’t see Meyer “challenging” much by abandonlng the “old” archetypes of the vampire (scary, probably evil, vulnerable to sunlight, pointy sticks and holiness) for one that’s been entrenched in pop culture for some time (beautiful/erotic, held to its own moral standard, atheistic, and pretty much without a downside beyond that whole “living in darkness/secret and feeding on the living” thing). It’s hardly groundbreaking.
Thank you, Matt. A re-exploration of the vampire genre must start with a fundamental deviation from the established Vampire = Sublimated Sexuality archetype that’s existed for over a 150 years. Cosmetic changes (like the vampire’s origin or magic sparklemation) reinvent nothing.
People just want to believe stuff that makes them feel better. I’m glad someone here has some common sense.
You’re right. A vampire that sparkles is no more or less real than one that doesn’t. One that sparkles just happens to be a hell of a lot more ridiculous.
For the love of all that is (un)holy, do not disrespect the Golgothan by comparing it to Edward the abstinent vampire.
Ahahahaha…you have no proof.
Granted, we believers have no real proof either. But I’m not pushing anything onto anyone.
Now, to make the moment funny….
SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER! SHUNNNNN!
How do you know that they don’t sparkle? Have you seen one? They are imaginary, so they can do whatever you want them to do.
Unicorns are imaginary.
I am going to write a book about Unicorns. Except they’ll be orange, shaped like cats and excrete oil.
But wait…they’re not Unicorns now.
Ok. I’ll write a book about vampires. Except they wont have fangs, they wont drink blood, they’re not actually dead, they wont burn in the sun and they’ll sparkle.
Waiiiiit.
My point is; there are certain criteria you have to meet when writing about ‘imaginary’ things. If you don’t keep to this criteria how is your audience meant to tell what you’re writing about? Just because the author says so? How can you be sure the author’s not misleading you for effect?
It’s alright to introduce new things, or offer twists on old things (e.g. Darren Shan vampires are very different from Bram Stoker vampires but they still keep with the general; blood drinkers, burn in sunlight, etc.) but to the point of screwing up what vampires actually symbolise? (The sun is representative of something holy, being burnt by the sun symbolises that the vampires are being rejected by something holy and are therefore damned, keep in mind Edward talks about damnation) No, just no.
Reading Twilight I began to think; ‘When is Edward going to do something vampish?’ I thought maybe he was behind the killings mentioned throughout the book, but sadly he wasn’t.
If I recall correctly, some of Anne Rice’s vampires were able to forgo blood drinking and were capable of being in sunlight.
The thing about Twilight is the author uses the sparkling as the reason behind the “can’t go out in sunlight” myth. Stephanie Meyer’s vampires do drink blood but choose to drink animal blood much like Louis chose to do early on in Interview. The Twilight vampires are in fact not living as they have no heartbeat.
Now as to your interpretation of symbolism, how about writing a story without first analyzing the symbolism to death. It wasn’t meant to be a treatise on the state of humankind and it’s inhumanity for petes sake. It’s a story. It’s not a myth or a parable. It’s simply a story that crept into the imagination of someone who wrote it down.
Why do people care so much that Stephanie Meyer’s story describes something in a different way than other people have described it? She’s not writing science textbooks here.
Regardless, the series captivated me as a piece of entertainment as it has multitudes of people both young and old and in between. Is it great leterature? No. Is it going to be liked by everyone? No, of course not. Personal taste will determine who likes it. I could elaborate what aspects of the stories I found interesting but I’m not interested in converting anyone but I would like to see people open their minds a crack and remind them of the saying, “to each his own”.
I’m not a big fan of Anne Rice to be honest.
I don’t mind them substituting animal blood for human blood, but to the extreme of never drinking human blood? Even in Interview With the Vampire Louis does cave and drink human blood and is clearly affected by the sunlight. Darren Shan: he drinks animal blood but at a great cost to his health and fully developed vampires burn slowly in the sunlight. Here’s an example of the kind of limitations that Edward never seems to show. During Twilight I was never convinced of Edward’s blood lust, it seemed too forced and seemed to pose no obstacle because (if my memory serves correctly) he never properly attacks Bella.
I don’t mind that she introduced different qualities to a vampire. What annoys me is the way she did it, she essentially kept all the strengths and got rid of all the weaknesses (They’re strong, fast, intelligent but they can go out in the sun (even if they do sparkle, no one is going to think ‘vampire’), seem to be able to survive easily on animal blood and don’t appear too different physically). This isn’t the sign of a good character. What’s worse is she replaced the burning with sparkling, and this serves no purpose. Edward claims that it’s to attract prey, but they’re strong and fast enough to catch pray with no problem. Also, Edward is clearly attractive enough to captivate Bella without even sparkling.
And don’t get me started on the scientific aspects of Twilight.
One of the things that doesn’t get mentioned in the books but is mentioned elsewhere is that the vampires who form larger groups and bond with each other tend to be more human in behavior than the nomadic vampires who rarely wander in groups larger than three. The longer a vampire goes without human interaction and even vampire interaction they begin to lose whatever humanity they retained psychologically according to SM’s version of vampires.
Almost all of the vegetarian vampires were human blood drinkers at one point in time. Even Bella drinks human blood.
If you read the version of book one (Twilight) from Edward’s perspective then you would see the blood lust and what he endures and how he deals with it. You see other vampires in her novels dealing with the thirst. The 4 books are Bellas story and so you don’t get to hear what Edward is going through.
Yes they were blood drinkers at some point, but that was pre-storyline. How about showing them cave during the story? It would have made things a bit more interesting and would have given weight to Edwards ‘I’m dangerous’ claim.
and I read Midnight Sun. Once again, not convinced. Meyer was trying too hard.
i think she did try to show them caving in… but she doesn’t quite have the balls to really write a massacre. jasper tries to eat bella at her birthday party, that’s the closest she gets to them caving. but then in book 4, the closest she gets to a bloody war is aro reading edwards mind and bella repelling anything that may have actually caused a problem.
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i think meyer wanted to write them as a little less perfect than they ended up (i.e. jasper trying to eat bella) but she just wasn’t able to do it and pussed out.
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they’re not good books by any stretch of the imagination, but they’re an easy fast read that you don’t have to concentrate on at all…
Precisely my good fellow!
i mean that to crimson jen btw
Tl ; Dr
Actually I’ve heard that the unicorns in the stories of old were actually rhinoceroses. They’re rather horse-like, have a single horn on their heads, etc.
And vampires do exist, but they’re simply extremely twisted (but human) individuals who drink blood for whatever reason (usually cultic).
Oh yeah, Dracula was a real person too. He wasn’t a vampire though. He would throw huge dinner parties in castles, to which he invited huge numbers of peasants. Once the people were good and drunk, he’d have all the gates closed and locked, and then he’d burn the castles to the ground, killing all inside.
Google ‘Vlad Tepes’, the Impaler. He’s the person who Dracula was based on.
Actually…. that’s a Romanian legend about Vlad Tepes (as said down) and it’s pseudo- historical. not that he was a vampire, that’s Bram Stoker’s doing. He was a king and he was indeed very cruel to his vassals and ennemies. One of those stories is really about a huge party given for his infidel vasals, after which he had them all beheaded and the heads put on a pile and them showed it to the wives.
On the whole thing about twilight – why do you people still argue? It clearly a story about vampires mostly written for girls – so it’s sentimental. I read it, I like it, other people hate it, who cares if the vampires sparkle? It’s functional in the story so leave it there. Authorial licence.
The reason they portrayed Vlad as a vampire was because it was said when he impaled someone he’d put a cup under them and then drink their blood. While they were being impaled. Disturbing no?
It was NOT Bram Stoker’s doing. He stole the idea from an Italian short story. The British Empire just happened to be the cool kids on the block at the time, so his version became the popular one.
Thank You So Much!!!!
“I am going to write a book about Unicorns. Except they’ll be orange, shaped like cats and excrete oil.”
I would most definitely, very willingly read that. And become a fangirl. And buy the consequent “unicorn oil” that stores will sell.
Twilight is lame. I think we all get it by now. Move along.
This comment is lame. Move along.
UM VAMPIRES DO SPARKLE AND TWILIGHT RULES THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND TWILIGHTS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wow.
You need a new keyboard!! You could be saying something intelligent but the damn exclamation point is in the way.
:: dontates $1 towards a new keyboard ::
*Donates $100 toward your new brain*
Twilight is a good book, and I hate people who don’t like it just cuz they haven’t read it! It’s not mainly about the vampires, it’s just a teen romance, however the book needed an obstacle so it wouldn’t be like every other teen romance out there. Steph decided to make the guy a vampire. They are fictional and they can be whatever you want them to be. And in response to fgdfgdfg, Edward DOES drink blood and he IS dead…. so I think you should get your facts straight before trying to make a point.
ok, how about this? my best friend was convined i would love twilight, so i borrowed it from her. so i’m in the middle of reading it right now. in fact, i’m almost done. except i’ve been reading it for almost a month, and i don’t think i can finish it. no, it’s not a good book. i could’ve wrote the damn thing. bella is a whining, complaining damsel in distress and edward’s no hero. i don’t even have a word for him. the book sucks. it’s probably going back to my friend unfinished.
*convinced
Yeah, I agree. I’m in the process of considering rewriting Twilight to actually make it tolerable. And for those who will be my detractors: Screw you, I’m a much better writer than goddamn Stephanie Meyer. Also, I’ve read at least the first book, so that’s all I’m going to make fun of/rewrite as a better, creepier story.
You are such a sweetheart. If you have seen my previous comment, I’ve read ALL 4 books! Why are you getting all pissed off? People have every right to state their opinion about vampires, books, etc.
Edward being a vampire is not much of an obstacle. There’s a little opposition from the Cullen’s concerning their relationship but they never really go out of their way to stop them seeing each other, do they? Charlie may forbid them but Edward can still sneak in and move at lightning speeds so he’ll never get caught. Edward may feel blood lust but her never acts on it. If he’d gone off to, say, Seattle (or wherever all the killings happened) and ate a couple of humans as compensation that would be an obstacle because Bella would have a reason to be afraid. That’s what’s called an obstacle not; ‘I’m a vampire. But I don’t drink human blood anyway. You’re pretty much safe because my uber family keep me from drinking human blood’
Would she be able to forgive him? Would she risk her life because she loves him? The only proper obstacle arrives towards the end (James) and that’s dealt with easily. The majority of the book is literally ‘I love you Edward’ ‘I love you Bella. But I’m dangerous’ ‘But I love you’ ‘I won’t leave you. I’m selfish’ ‘I’m glad’ ‘Don’t be. I’M DANGEROUS!’
If things can be anything you want them to be, doesn’t that completely ruin the point of being something? I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, vampires have to meet a certain criteria, otherwise we wont be able to recognise they’re vampires. The only reason people say Edward is a vampire is because we’re told he is. Telling instead of showing is the biggest mistake any writer can make.
Edward drinks human blood PRE-story line, yes. Unfortunately I don’t care. I want to SEE it, not hear about it. It would have made Edward more threatening. And don’t bring up ‘Oh, but we hear about Jaspers past pre-story’ that’s different becasue it’s not an issue constantly brought up, the general ‘plot’ doesn’t rely on Jasper’s past as much as it does on Edwards blood lust. It’s pretty much mentioned in passing.
He must have some form of pulse to be able to get ‘it’ up and impregnate Bella, considering that’s how it works; the rush of blood into the penis which causes an erection. I’d rather go by what I’m shown than what I’m told and: erection = pulse = beating heart = alive.
We can be deceived by what we’re told, but actions ‘speak louder than words.’
You. Are. AWESOME! *bows*
I seriously hope you’re trolling. But just in case you aren’t, I’ll explain why vampires shouldn’t sparkle. Ever. This also covers why Twilight fails as a vampire novel.
First off, vampires are creatures of superstition, correct? Thus they have superstition-based strengths, such as turning into a bat or having enough power to rip a mans throat out with their bare hands. By extension, they also have superstition-based weaknesses, the main ones being things such as sunlight, holy symbols and garlic.
Now here’s the clincher – Twilight vampires have all of the strengths, but none of the weaknesses. They’re not creatures of superstition anymore – they’re essentially demigods. Mary Sues if you will. Thus the flaws that make vampires what they are are destroyed, and their invulnerability insures that characterisation is going to be poor. It’s just too far from the standard to ever be acceptable.
Whether they are creatures of superstition or imaginary, why can’t they sparkle? LOL
Are you a writer or something?
In the sense that I know how to make coherent sentences, yes. Are you a writer?
As for the sparkling – I seem to have left it out of my last point, which wasn’t intended. So I’ll go over that now: The sparkling is more of a by-product of the points I already covered. They sparkle in sunlight rather than burn, correct?
Now, simply not burning in sunlight is acceptable, if done well – Terry Pratchett being an example to this. But making them SPARKLE? Detracts from the horror that vampires are meant to be somewhat. doesn’t it? And of course there’s going to be the accusations of homosexuality with it as well…
Listen to Fatzilla. He/She/It speaketh the truth!
No, I am not a writer but read and wrote one too many contracts in my days.
I must say, unless it’s common knowlege and I am completely oblivious, you know a little more about vampires than the average person would. I wonder why that is.
Perhaps because Fatzilla reads a lot. Good books, like the ones written by
Terry Pratchett. I suffered through the first three books until the misogyny
reached sufficating levels. I then picked a different audio book that I could ignore large sections of. I chose dracula, and I found it a breath of fresh air.
By the by, Joseph, the story you posted about Vlad the Impaler is complete
b.s. Look it up next time, dear.
An audio book hardly qualifies as reading. Perhaps you need to look up the definition of ‘reading’. Now, go play on the freeway!!!
Wow, you told someone to ‘go play on the freeway’ because they mis-used a term. Really validates your argument there! *Sarcasm*
‘You know a little more about vampires than the average person would. I wonder why that is.’ – I read books, that’s why. I learn things. What are you trying to imply?
And for the record EvaDaDiva – it’s a he.
Not YOU Fatzilla. My comment was directed at Hailey.
I’m aware that it wasn’t directed at me, and I was pointed out the idiocy of telling someone to ‘go play on the freeway’, simply because they misused a term.
I am not implying anything. JEEEBUUUS!!! Just making a comment that’s all. Why do people get all bent out of shape? I don’t understand.
‘I must say, unless it’s common knowlege and I am completely oblivious, you know a little more about vampires than the average person would. I wonder why that is.’
Sounds like you’re implying something to me.
Actually, I’d argue with you on that one. Some people (like me, and presumably you from what you said) process information better receiving it visually. We generally end up liking to read books. On the other hand, there are also plenty of people who have difficulty processing words received visually who are quite adept at comprehending auditorily. I, on the other hand, can barely keep track of a book (or lecture or whatever) if I’m only listening to it unless I’m also making notes or following something visually. However, if the information you are receiving is identical (assuming an unabridged audiobook) how do you make the distinction that it “doesn’t count as reading?” Granted it’s technically listening rather than reading but because we have the accepted sense that what a person does with a book is to read it, I think that should be acceptable to use as a verb applied to comprehending an audiobook.
He doesn’t seem to know more than the average person (based on the comment, since he could of course know more he’s not flat out stating). I knew all the things he mentioned and I know only the basics about vampires, aside from a few things I ran across about Chinese vampires.
Most of the things he’s stated are very common knowledge to anyone that’s read a vampire book written more than 20 years ago. Heck, even one of the horrible vampire books I read a few years ago right after it came out mentioned weaknesses, and it was a Mary-sue fest and a half!
Oh and there’s movies where you learn all these basics…
Turn your caps lock off.
Take your finger off the exclamation mark key (aka 1).
And run away from this site because there will be another one of these “vampires don’t sparkle” captions every day. At least, maybe more. Ever check the upcoming section?
Twilight sucks. It’s for shallow and low-minded teen girls. Which I highly suspect you are.
And your keyboard’s sore. Thank you very much.
Didn’t get much action in high school, huh.
Who knew that whether or not vampires sparkle could cause such controversy. Good thing they don’t exist…
What’s scary is that there’s groups of grown women who obsess over these books and want to bang Edward…and, by the way, isn’t he supposed to be in the body of a teenager? Older women lusting after fictional teenage boys is kinda creepy.
Fail comment is fail.
…….Wow……. :-/
(And Im a Twilight fan myself)
Haha! FINALLY, someone with sense! TWILIGHT FOREVER!!!
You can go and make your little hate clubs and whinge and whine and complain like little babies, but the fact of the matter is, its a book! Get over it. Move on. Otherwise you are going to waste half your lives complaining about other people’s personal taste! So WHAT if Meyer decided to change them? New ideas are great! Without them, we’d be going nowhere! Its just ONE book series, there are plenty of other ones for you guys that completely go RIDICULOUSLY overboard just because someone has a new idea. THANK YOU.
Given the originating comment here, I’m tempted to take your response as sarcasm, as I originally interpreted esme’s reply to be intentionally ironic. However, as I can’t see the sarcastic value of your commentary originality and wasting one’s life, I’ll take you at your word.
…What gave you the impression that any of Meyer’s ideas were NEW?
Meyer’s interpretation of the vampire (powerful, immortal, without weakness, prone to torrid romances at first glance, and equipped with an “it’s not my fault!” predatory urge) is hardly anything new. Her “werewolves” weren’t particularly innovative either – though I give her points for doing a little more with it than the hollywood “wolfman” version, that doesn’t mean she’s anywhere near the first to do it.
Yes, the glittering in sunlight was a fairly novel twist, but it’s really just a bit of window dressing on the “painfully beautiful immortal” vampire archetype that’s been growing for years.
Mockery is a benchmark for success. Twilight gets the treatment because it’s become a part of popular culture. Not everyone likes it, and people on the Internet amuse themselves by trashing things they dislike (things they like, too, in some cases).
You’re not going to make a dent in the wall of negative sentiment by telling people they’re wasting their lives, because they enjoy it – and few things are both fun and productive. And you certainly aren’t going to make a dent by trying to pass off the contents of Twilight as particularly original.
Also, need I point out that defending the books on an online forum is every bit as bootless as trashing them?
who cares if they sparkle or not…they’re fictional characters! make-believe!
The End.
smugness. you haz it.
Bela still wins.
It’s BELLA with two Ls and she is a whiny, needy little b*tch!
It’s Bela as in Lugosi, the guy in the picture!
HA! Hahahahaha.
You make me happy.
but it’s BELA Lugosi!
and Bela really wins, you are right, Bella is whiny!
key and msMsBurning, I stand corrected. Thanks.
Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t even know there was a Bella in Twilight!
Darn you, Stephanie Meyer, attempting to pay tribute to the classic Dracula and ending up causing confusion for those who don’t pay enough attention to distinguish between one “l” and two!
THANK YOU. 1932 Dracula with Bela Lugosi = Total win.
“Come…hurr…”
I watched something about him and his career, he really couldn’t escape that role. Not just the accent, but the whole look. He tried to be taken seriously in other roles and he couldn’t. It’s kind of sad.
Sorry kiddies but the only “real” vampires are World of Darkness vampires. Any other vampire fiction is subpar cheese.
I’m sorry, but what? The only “real” vampires are those from a pen-and-paper roleplaying game where they are nothing more than amalgams of various real-world superstitions and legends, lumped together under the blanket term “vampire”? Have you even read the World of Darkness books? I enjoy the flavor behind the vampires of WoD as much as the next person, but to claim that they are somehow superior to other depictions is naive and more than a little ignorant. Please learn a bit more about mythology before you try to fanboy your way into an argument.
Hey, this one’s a lot like one I made, but mine had Christopher Lee instead of Bela Lugosi. Still, though, nice! I approve.
Aw,man! How could we forget him? Kickass vampire.But, I think Bela wins the most points for being buried in his Dracula costume.:)
WOOHOO!!!!!!!! This post made my morning!!!!!!! xD
I love classic vampire movies, Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee all the way!
I have yet to see Twilight, but I read all 4 books.
Dracula is still a classic, (book and all), and I love it. Thankfully there are still some honest vampire fans around!
fail… there is no such thing as “real ones”
so the twilight vampires sparkle… woopy freaking doo… move on with your life
Um vampires aren’t even real. If people wanna say they sparkle fine. If other people wanna say they burn up in the sun fine. So just shut up and get over it. Twilight rocks.
STFU TWILIGHT SUCKS BALLS
Mmm. Yes, Jessica. I must agree with weegee here. Twilight does, indeed, suck balls.
i third that.
Fourth
The irony here is that it’s a picture of Bela Lugosi playing a fake vampire in Mark of the Vampire (1935).
Ha ha ha! Irony win!
True that. Lol. Fake vamp talking about fake vamps. True irony can be funny!
hmm Vampire myth and lore comes from several different sources, such as real people (Vlad the Impaler-who liked to dine in a garden decorated with his enemies who were impaled on long spikes erected around him and they were usually alive when impaled, and a certain british noble woman who believed she could remain youthful if she bathed daily in the blood of virgin girls until she was walled up in a tower alive and left to slowly starve to death) combined with real medical conditions (being allergic to sunlight, and severe anemia-which in the past would cause the sufferer to appear pale, and which also well before modern medicine was treated by the patient drinking animal blood) as well as cases of people who had been interred after death and for whatever reason were dug up months later and found to have not decayed and appear to only be sleeping. Also contributing is cases of people who had been burried alive and for whaterver reason they were dug up later and claw marks were found on the inside of the coffins-which is why when you are burried now you are always embalmed, it makes sure you are dead when you go into the ground
Great points. One little quibble is that the noblewoman was not British, she was Hungarian, by the name of Erzsébet Báthory.
plus the walled-in is also a romanian legend, but the girl was a good one. While we’re at it.
thank you for the correction, my recollection was a bit fuzzy
ah… i miss the old bela lugosi / ed wood movies
Two words: Lost Boys.
Um, but Twilight does still suck. Wouldn’t want to confuse anyone about my standing on that.
Ooooh im so with you on that! You’re the first person to even mention Lost Boys here!
Their blood sparkled.
Twighlight is playing to the angsty teen thing that has invaded every role playing game in existence. As a DM and former world builder in NWN I had to deal with all new players wanting to be a good drow or a vampire who was good. People got mad when I said they had to be EVIL to play those if I let them at all.
They are bored with Drizzt so now they are going after the vampire as the new angst. Next will be the orcs.
As for Twighlight–my daughter who is 11 read the first book. She liked it, went on to the second book and finished 4 chapters. She said it’s purely awful and has no desire to see the movie or the rest of the series.
I’ll put up with her talking incessantly about Warrior Cats. I thank the gods and goddesses that I do not have to listen to such ramblings about twighlight.
How exactly is Drizzt “angsty”? He accepted his lot in life rather stoically – only rarely in the books did he ever outright complain about his circumstances, and even then it was more often on the effects his situation had on his friends than any grief he felt for himself. As for forcing players to be evil if they’re certain races…meh. There’s some argument for it, but if a player wants to play a good vampire, or a good orc, or a good insert-generally-evil-race-here, I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t be allowed to, provided they have the back story to explain it. Some of the most interesting character concepts I’ve ever seen in a game of D&D were players who took an evil race and played a good individual, or, conversely, those who took a generally good race and player an evil version of it.
*played an evil version of it.
Please don’t kill me, oh great Grammar Gods.
I didn’t find Drizzt angsty until the third book, yes I know he has a lot to deal with it but I felt like saying “GET ON WITH IT!” half the time, I dunno, those books weren’t very well written either but the first two were so intriguing I didn’t mind or notice. Sigh. I really liked Drizzt too.
Only one slight problem with playing a GOOD vampire-it is very hard to be good when your diet consists of human blood. It would be easier to play a neutral vampire, but impossible to play a good one.
I’m sure when people say ‘real’ vampire they don’t mean ‘real world’ they probably mean ‘the real deal’.
Real lols…. don’t end up being this lame.
You be nice, he could be your father one day.
lol, butthurt teenage angsty twilight fantard.
But both Bela Lugosi and Robert Pattinson seem to agree that real vampires DO wear lipstick.
twilight rox besides there aren’t such thing as vampires
oh, really????
u think so?
lol jk
Really?
Prove it.
Win. Just…epic win. Srsly.
That’s my middle name.
I am Josh Win Just Epic Win Srsly.
Trufax.
how do you know vampires don’t sparkle? have you seen one?…………………….i didn’t think so
(puts two cents on the table)
Y’know the kind of vampires I was first introduced to? Christopher Pike’s version. My twin’s interest in them snowballed after that; I was just along for the ride for the most part before I formed my own opinions.
There are a lot of vampire myths out there, true. In China, they’re thought to have green hair, for instance. In Malaysia, it’s believed a type of vampire can detach its head, lungs, heart and intestines, and fly around to suck blood. Some people think there are vampires who eat souls or “feed” off energy. Even the kitsune of Japan can be considered sexual vampires. We all choose to hear about the ones we like most, be it the classics or slightly modified versions.
But I gotta admit, for my taste, the human-shaped disco balls and bloodsucking pixies (as my boyfriend calls ‘em), it’s just too far off the usual vampire path. They aren’t likable, they have no weaknesses, and they just aren’t interesting. My boyfriend and I saw the film PURELY to make fun of it, and we were more impressed by the scenery than the acting.
The “Twilight” type of vampires can go sparkle elsewhere. I’d rather read “Carmilla”, thanks.
“human-shaped disco balls and bloodsucking pixies”
Kudos to your BF XD I’m so using his description from now on.
I’m quite a fan of vampires, being Anne Rice’s my faves. Of course I like the more traditional truly evil vampire too: lamias, nosferatu…the only ones that make me a little uneasey are Japanese kappas.
They suck blood from people’s butts…D:
Kitsunes are way prettier XD
Oh, I wish he could take credit for “human-shaped disco balls”. Heck, I wish I could! But it’s not ours.
I don’t know where the heck I read it, unfortunately, else I would give credit.
A lot of kappa are actually portrayed as being helpful to humans, though; supposedly, they taught the art of sumo wrestling, to start. And they could be pacified with cucumbers, so hopefully that lessens the “creepy” factor for you.
Want angst? Go watch ‘Forever Knight’ and see what a decent vampire is created to be like. And none of them sparkle either.
I’m not fond of ‘Twilight’ but I’m tired of the bashing. If you’re that obsessed over hating a book\movie, go read something else. I’m reading “A Streetcar Named Desire”. Stanley Kowalski is the ultimate chauvinist, but he’s also strangely attractive in a primitive animal way; call it animal magnetism.
The point is…read a good book and forget about it.
Hahaha, I approve.
They DO sparkle! D:
When they are on fire…
XD
Hey lay off Twilight guys.
It’s an awesome book and most of the people who diss it have NEVER READ IT.
don’t be a hypocrite
oh i disagree. I read it lala. I read it and hated it (all the books) I don’t give up on books. Velcrodots is right though. Shouldn’t vampires have a bit more dignity? Oh and the “vampires aren’t real” argument is completely pointless. The picture means that good, creepy, classic vampires (the real deal) don’t sparkle. AND IT’S TRUE!
Lala, I read it too.
In fact, I am part of a club at my school, where 50 people have read the book (We all read it together) and hated it. Some people couldn’t make it past the first chapter.
I have read it.
And I have to mention something else here. Twi-fans often accuse haters of not reading the books and therefore having no idea what they are talking about. Yet if haters say that they have read it, they get barraged with “OMG IF YOU DONT LIEK IT THEN DONT READ IT!! GET A LIFE!!!”. Is there any way we can win here?
As many of the haters, I have too read it.
Though, the question is not on how we can win.
The question is when will they stop failing.
You have to admit though, a pretty vampire that sparkles??? What’s next, they kill you with Jazz hands and then run off with your tank top?
in book 4 edward openly states that he was biting a pillow during sex. that would definitely make him a bottom…
-
news flash: stephenie meyers vampires are all homos.
Hey, can i say something without being insulted? I like twilight. There aren’t the best books out there and the sparkling thing is a little gay. BUT I like Twilight. The first book wasn’t the best, so most people give up then. It gets better in the later books. I’m sorry if these vampires aren’t good enough for you, but they do have weaknesses (sorry for bad spelling) fire kills them, and vampire venom scars them. Other vampires can rip them to pieces and so can werewolves. They drink blood, have fangs, and are undead. Sounds like a vampire to me. One more thing, not all the vampires are good, animal blood drinking vampires. In fact, most aren’t. The majority are human killing, sadistic vampires. Good enough for you yet? I don’t care if you don’t like it. Just lay off already.
Yes, but a sparkly pedophile is just stupid.
Actually, I wouldn’t contradict, personally. But on general, we’re only speaking out on the more extreme ones, who (scroll all the way up to esme’s comment) have that sort of twisted thinking.
Sure, maybe there are minor weaknesses, but these are what- never explicitly demonstrated in those books which we twi-haters call trash. These relatively minor and unproven “facts” of the books altogether make bad characterisation, whereby there are no flaws, no change, just seemingly invincible gods who make peace with everything about them.
ON a different side note, fire kills them… Haven’t we seen this somewhere in the vampire world…? *hint. think Anne Rice.*
I have friends who like Twilight (unfortunately, I know a Twitard [different from the average Twilight-liker like you] too)
Maybe you’re looking the wrong way. I think we all have our equal share of trashy books, and different people like different things. Perhaps what we all need are chill pills.
*cough* one more thing. The movie sucked balls. Do not form an opinion off of the movie.
I think what weally needs to be looked at is the dry writing and acting that this series plagues the world with. I read the first book and it was dry and monotonous. When I heard about the movie , I though weird it wasn’t THAT good, but maybe the movie would be exciting…then the trailers. The acting was so bad the ads it made me dislike the series. That the damn thing has poliferated and is freaking everywhere makes me curse it’s very existence. The fact the the vampires “sparkle” just make it easy to make fun of. Wanna read good vampire stories? I know this girl on devart who writes characters with depth and vampires with unique powers. Why isn’t she published?
I lol’d at my tyops >.> What I’m trying to say is, the books had the potentional to be good, but that lady can’t write worth balls.
I liked the books, but even I have to admit the movie sucked serious ass. Every character interaction in the movie was extremely awkward, and it was so low budget that nothing looked good.
As for your amazing friend, breaking into the literary world is a ridiculously hard thing to do. You either have to have something amazing, or know someone.
=> Regardless of the quality of Stephenie Meyer’s writing, she has pulled in more money from the Twilight Series than most books have or ever will. Someone, somewhere, made a very good call when they decided to publish her.
Twilight is destroying todays youth… see link
http://twilightsucks.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175
And this list keeps growing… seriously..
Beware what you say to twilight fans, cause they will attack…
And I bet they’re more dangerous than Stephanie Meyers vampires ever could be.
I think you mean Veggiepires or Meyerpires…
They aren’t proper Vampires…
lol Meyerpires… I like that.
I’ve actully heard stories of people being attacked for putting down twilight,
those future catladies are scary….
WOOOOO! Bela Lugosi for the EPIC WIN! (You all know, home girls, the only one who can pull off sparkles and still be so friggin manly is Jareth the Goblin king! mmmm david bowie!)
*gasp*
How did you know that I’m listening to David Bowie right now?!?! Mmmm…
best. shirt. ever.
(from jinx.com)
“..And Then Buffy Staked Edward. The End.”
First off, to those that are assuming that people hate it without reading it, I have read the first two and utterly despise the series. Second, I AM a writer, by a living, and by hobby, and have to say that the way that she basically ass raped vampire lore boiled my blood as a horror writer. Next thing you know we’ll be seeing ultra angsty nonrotting zombies. That is the day my soul will truly die within my body.
As for those saying that “Well have you ever seen one? How do you know they don’t sparkle?” Thousands, upon thousands, years of lore from every single culture on the face of the planet says they don’t sparkle. Sure, there are different interpretations of them, everywhere, but one thing they have in common is the insatiable blood lust that rules their every thought. Not once did Edward’s blood lust seem real to me, NEVER ONCE! The point of being a writer is to instill emotions from the reader to the character, you’re supposed to feel for them, feel their pain, and the most I felt for Edward or any of the Mary Sues of the book was malcontent that I had dared to waste time I could be using to finish my agented series.
And another thing I dislike about the Twilight craze? The fandom. My god, children, don’t jump down someone’s throat when they say it’s the best book ever or it rocks. Read something like The Heart of Darkness, Posionwood Bible, or The Historian, now the Historian… that’s a great book. Read something of literary merit and then come back to Twilight, and you will see my point.
Sorry, Heart of Darkness sucks. Another example would be better. Plus, Meyer doesn’t write horror, so why project that genre on twilight, which is obviously teenage romance?
About the lore, it’s called originality when you change it into something else.
Ok, Twilight is obviously not a Henry James but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its merits. And, of course, literary, a lot of flaws as well. And I’m a writer too, btw.
Which doesn’t mean the LOL isn’t funny, because it is
okay i’ll put it to this way from someone in the industry, anything that has vampires in it is under the horror genre. now whether or not it falls into a sub-genre that has romance in it doesn’t matter, but the fact that vampires play a big role in it means it’s part of my genre.
Meh, I just get annoyed when people do something like this to a time honored ‘villain’. I mean, I understand coming up with something new for the vampire, like the werewolf has undergone so many changes its baffeling, and that Byron changed the vampyre first and its snowballed from there, but sparkling? Meh, that and she’s young… and it’s reflected in her writing. She has the potential, if she doesn’t just fester in fame like so many other writers, she could very well be the next Andrews *if she wants to go the dark, creepy romance route* or even Rice if she refines what works for her.
Oh yes they do!! Hehe! Soz but i’m a twilighter and a twi-hard and the books r excellent! The movies not v good but the books r great
!! oh and btw the vamps sparkle because all of there body is enhanced so there skin is made of diamonds because its like basically one of the hardest and strongest things and looks pretty!! hehe. btw i’m a teen…………………………. hehe
Ah, that clears it all up. . . . they sparkle ’cause it looks pretty.
oh and btw about my comment there ^^^^ i don’t like bella v much because she is moany and whiney but i can’t help liking her if u kno what i mean
.
did we need to know ANY of that? its a twilight sux page and ur complaining cause ppl are saying it sux, not to sound rude, but plz, dont even bother trying to make sense of all the ridiculous things about it
Personally this is the first I have heard of the Twilight series of books you guys have done such a good job of listing their pros and cons that I may just have to pick up the series and see how I like them. I like vampire tales of all kinds particularly ones that have a different point of view and have different “breeds” of vampires, to me, from what I have read here, the Twilight series is simply about a different breed of vampire.
FTMFW!
Yes!
oh Bela Lugosi…still my favorite movie monster actor of all time.
There was an article about Stephen King in the newspaper over the weekend, and he was quoted comparing Stephanie Meyer to J.K. Rowling. I don’t remember the exact quote, but the upshot was that, in his opinion, Rowling is a talented writer and Meyer can’t write worth a hoot.
I’m not agreeing or disagreeing. I’m just repeating what he said. I personally don’t think Rowling is particularly talented, and I’ve never tried to read Meyer. (I’ve never been able to finish a Stephen King book, either.)
Ugh I think Twilight is lame too but seriously old joke is REALLY old. Repeating it over and over again does nothing but prove yourself just as uncreative as Smeyer herself -_-.
Lugosi ftw, though. Now I wanna watch Ed Wood.
loltastic, thank you for mention Labrinyth! You reminded me that I havn’t watched that movie in ages!
As for the picture making fun of Twilight, I think it’s superb. And I absolutely adore Twilight. But I at least know that I’m not reading anything spectacular when it comes to actual literature. It’s a fun, easy read that happened to pull at my heartstrings.
And let’s face it, even if you don’t like it, all this talk about it is bringing it even MORE attention. I honestly think the attention for it is way over the top but I wouldn’t mind earning what Meyer is raking in..
Wow, I didn’t intend for this to be so long.. my point is this photo made my night (:
God damn! We get it! Now shut the hell up about it. You guys are worse than the freaking uber fans.
This picture is made of win.
Also, Twilight Sucks, end of story. If you want to go rave about how beautiful and gorgeous Eddykins is, drag your sorry ass to your I LUV TWILIGHT!1111 website, and stay away from pictures obviously making fun of the “vampires.”
They’re not even vampires. They’re overgrown fairies who don’t take showers.
Can’t we all just join hands and sing “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”? Undead undead undead…
Hell yeah!!! *stabs twilight with safety scissors* On what screwed up planet do vampires sparkle??? And what the hell was the author of twilight on??? I hate twilight it sucks. but i do like this pic it’s funny!!!
So….I know Twilight sucks ass and all, but can someone recommend a GOOD vampire book? I’ve read Dracula and that was awesome, but Anne Rice I didn’t like at all.
you could read vampire academy (i just finished it and loved it)
I don’t know any vampire books other than Cirque Du Freak, but that series is awesome. If you are a teenager. If not, I can’t help you.
I don’t think anyone has mentioned this, but yea, the sparkling vampires are a mite silly. Isn’t it a little more disturbing that ten and eleven year olds are falling all over Edward, who is every definition of abusive? That’s my biggest problem with Twilight (okay, the fact that every main character we’re supposed to like is freaking sparkley-gorgeous perfect is annoying too, but…) C’mon? Taking apart her car to keep her home? Following her around (even if she does smell like bacon-wrapped chocolate cake or whatever) and telling her what to do because you’re perfect and clever and know better so her opinion means nothing (probably a good thing, she’s an idiot). And, this is straight from Book 2, “smart and talented” Bella, with a promising future, lists college as Plan B, with marrying and giving birth to a demon at 18 (don’t forget being killed and turned into a disco ball herself) is Plan A?
I realize, and I’ve fought against censorship myself, that teenagers are old enough to know that this isn’t REAL love, but ten to one if I say this to 100 Twilight fans, at least 70 of them will say “It’s just because he loves her so much.”
Yeah, the part that killed the book for me wasn’t just the supervampires – it was the grossly unhealthy nature of the “love” story. Bella’s an idiot, Edward’s smothering and they’re both grossly codependent (which I guess makes it an accurate portrait of many teen romances). I recall ranting about it to some other people who’d read the book, only to get a response along the lines of “You wouldn’t understand, you’re not a heterosexual girl.”
Although with the whole college thing – being invincible, faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and eternally young, leaves a lot of leisure time in which to pursue a continuing education; assuming she has the fortitude to go through with her plan, joining the Cullens isn’t a bad option. Of course, that’s ignoring the indescribable pain and the homicidal bloodlust (which Bella gets to conveniently ignore in any case), all of which keeps it from being a very good plan, IMO…
More disturbing to me is the fact that this book is telling teenage girls who have no experience in love that this is the ultimate you can feel in love. The comparisons to Romeo and Juliet by Bella feeds further into this stereotype. I am well into New Moon and I have yet to see any indication that she realizes how unhealthy this is. We will now have a generation of girls that believe unrealistically that this is what love is supposed to be. I am sorry but 4 months of catatonia is not a healthy response to a break up. I am even more bothered by her numerous unconscious suicide attempts disguised as attempts to hear Edwards voice by being reckless. Am I the only one who sees this for what it is, a way to punish Edward for leaving her by killing herself recklessly? This gril Bella is not the literary role model we need for our young girls today who may attempt to off themselves because their “Edward” wronged them somehow.
Thanks goodness somebody finally made the most important point. I could give a crap about sparkling vampires, but teenage girls are viewing STALKER behavior as romance. NO.
stalking =/=love.
As much as I would love to im much to lazy to use my years research into vampire mythology and litruature to tell off more twilight fans.
I will simply say this.
Vampires don’t sparkle in any vampire myth or in any peice of liturature. It donesn’t make sence, it doesnt make the creatrues of horror. It makes them pretty little flowers. And that my friend is not a vampire.
I was told by a friend to read twilight because it was “a great vampire novel.”
I was lied to. I had to push myself though the book the writting was so bad (King agrees) and never have I ever had to push though a vampire novel (no mater how bad the story was). Twilight is nothing more than a trite teen drama that is jumping on the “dark romance” trend that is popular right now.
Well you guys suck because twilight is the most awesomest book ever.
no it’s not. twilight sucks butt
What, so ur saying that a book abouta clumsy Necrophiliac and a sparkly pedophile is good? And why are you even posting here, this is a picture making FUN OF TWILIGHT.
A stalking sparklepixie and a whiny Mary-Sue makes a good book?
I daresay, you either haven’t read anything good yet, or you have no taste in good books.
Have you tried good literature like Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird, or Ernest Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea?
If that’s not good enough, try Dracula, or Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan, or Salem’s Lot by Stephen King.
You may see that Twilight is thus the crappiest book ever written.
Real Vampires don’t sparkle..
That’s because Vampires aren’t real.
well i personally think you guys all need to get a life i thought all 4 books were amazing the film is amazing and am sure the other films will all b amazing this does not make me a moron people just have diffrent oppinions and if any one is a moron its ya selfs 4 havin this year long convo about how much u hate the damn thing have none ov u heard if u have nothing to say dont say anything at all uuurrrggghhh x
that is so true i hate twilight it;s this retarded fad that every one has it’s so stupid. i hate this all it’s so stupid that’s why this is so true
“Real vampires”? LAWL.
i hope i dont get yelled at for this, but i LOVE twilight. i finished the series and i thot it was great.
Amen.
Twilight is overrated. ‘Nuff said.
Ok.. Real vampires? Seriously… Look people.. This may shock you: Vampires are not real!! They never have been. They are mythical creatures.. So, therefore, there is no vampire criteria that has to be followed exactly.. there’s no set way that a vampire has to be.. Stephanie Myer can do whatever she wants with her characters. If you don’t like it, don’t read the books. Personally, I love the books. But I don’t obsess over them like every other teenage girl. However, the people who are hating on Twilight are worse than the ones who like it.. You seem to obsess over hating it and bashing it more than most people obsess over liking it. Wow people… If you think reading the books is a waste of time, stop wasting our time with bashing it.. Grow up please.
All I can really say is Edward is hot in the movie. So is Jasper. Now, if only the previous bathed and the latter be more visible in real life. Life would be good.
Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics-even if you win, you’re still retarded.
Oh, Twilight fans make me laugh. I have to admit: I enjoyed the books as a very quick mindless read. Not deep or profound or even very well written. I found them fun to read despite the many flaws; I am a sucker for any kind of romance, no matter how crappily it is written. I liked the characters, and I didn’t notice that Bella was whiny until people pointed it out. Edward was okay, but I kept on until the end more because I was amused by Jacob than interested in what happened to Bella. (secret- I was hoping for a dramatic death).
The movie sucked, period. That said, my guilty secret is that I would watch it again because I am admittedly a romantic at heart. Although I wish someone would replace the actor who plays Edward- he’s all wrong for the part, and he and Bella have no chemistry whatsoever. (fangirls will probably kill me for that.)
On to the Twilight haters, I can agree with you as well. The books are not very original, and I did not like that her vampires sparkle. Had they been some other mythic creatures, it would have been fine. There was never a real reason for Bella to fear Edward, which gave his “I’m dangerous” spiel no value. Had he broken down and really attacked her or someone else, I would have liked the books more. As for Bella’s whininess, I find that almost all teen romance novels of this genre seem to have either immature, whiny heroines or incredibly independent and annoyingly prideful ones. I’ve yet to read a fantasy-genre teen high-school romance that does not feature such a heroine. (Why do I keep reading them? Sheer boredom combined with a romantic heart that hopes for a good story.)
And finally, the caption… is awesome. Whether you love or hate Twilight, this should make you laugh, not get on your nerves. It’s not spiteful or attacking anyone or anything. Sure, it’s making fun of sparkly vampires. Come on. Look at that phrase. Even if you’re completely in love with Twilight, you can’t help but laugh at it. Sparkly Vampires. My first thought when she mentioned that Edward sparkled was “Ooh! Shiny… wait… sparkly vampire? Are you kidding? Ha!”
Bela Lugosi’s Dracula is classic, as is Bram Stoker’s Dracula (I am referring to the book, yes. I have read it)
I think I’m done.
By the way, did you know, on the subject of Vampire myths, that old, old myths viewed Vampires not as the pale creatures we imagine them, but as ruddy (red) skinned due to the blood they consumed?
Random fact.
They were also bloated.
vampires are real go to vampirewebsite.net
If anyone wants to read a real good series about Dracula, check out Fred Saberhagen’s “Dracula” series, starting with “The Dracula Tape,” in which Mr. Saberhagen tells the tale from the Count’s POV. You’ll never look at the Bram Stoker version the same way again. Then read “The Holmes/Dracula File.” I won’t ruin it for you, it’s a doozy.
LoL Loved the pic.
And yes, Twilight has indeed ruined vampires, though this is just my opinion as the opinion f others is just an opinion so don’t bash me Twi-Tards and Twi-Lovers, if you want to, go ahead and agree with my statement.
In any case, EVERYONE should like this pic, it’s a joke, get over it those who can’t help but analyze it. Stop being so anal and laugh for a few seconds, will you?
Once again, LOL.
Seriously? People- GET A LIFE. I am so sick of people complaining about Twilight. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Don’t watch the movie. But don’t waste time complaining about it. I’m sick of people making such a big deal about it ruining “real” vampires. VAMPIRES ARE NOT REAL. They are mythical creatures. It’s Stephanie Meyer’s book, and she can do whatever the hell she wants with her characters and her story. If she wanted to write a book about vegatarian zombies that don’t like brains, then she can. Cause guess what? They’re not real either!! There cannot be a cryteria that must be followed when it comes to vampires because THEY ARE NOT REAL. So stop saying that “real” vampires don’t sparkle. IT’S A BOOK. You people are RIDICULOUS.
But there are certain criteria that every vampire myth ’round the world follows, they drink blood (from somewhere, whether it be neck or butt- yes, the ARSE), don’t go out in the sunlight (or something like that), and are weak against religious icons, whether it be the cross, the Star of David, or friggin’ Buddha.
There is a sort of template to the vampire and in it they are EVIL and incapable of LURV. They may not be real but neither are the Greek Gods and yet if I were to make Zeus a hot dog vendor in New York you’d probably get all up in my face for completely ruining Zeus by not making him Hugh Hefner or something!
If there’s a myth of it, there an archetype for it that you’ll have to follow for it to be considered what it is, and, let’s face it, they aren’t vampires, they’re fairies because only fairies sparkle.
Rant done!
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Vampires don’t exist. The End.
Just so you know, this is like the twentieth time someone has said those exact words…
And it’s STILL continued on so as much as we’d all like for Twilight’s fans and haters to STFU, they shan’t…or rather, can’t. Either way, as my math teacher says;
“Too bad, so sad, get used to it.”
А мне блог понравился
LOL I Just realised the irony of this picture…anyone else? That picture isn’t from ‘Dracula’ as I guess most ppl think, its from ‘Mark of the Vampire’…spoiler ahead……………………..where Lugosi plays a guy pretending to be a vampire…not a REAL vampire…slightly ironic:)
У нас в Дагестане за такие слова могут и камням изакидать
who is this actor?
Bela Lugosi
bwahahahahhaha win
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