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“It’s called ‘Scientology’ and it’s more frightening than all the shit we deal with combined!!”
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Seriously people, the scientology jokes are getting old
I agree 100%.
It’s just so…easy…
so it’s not easy to make a joke about people who believe that a few thousand years ago snakes could talk and earth was a paradise, and that a guy lived in a whale, and that the world is ruled by a thousand year old carpenter?
Scientology is so extremely crazy because all of the other religions like christianity already stole the normal crazy.
uh… most of those things aren’t meant to be taken literally… you stick to you’re [non] religion and we’ll stick to ours.
But yeah, I see your point.
i agree 100% oh and that the “ex” con artist who created Mormonism found “god” in prison why is that always the story?
What do you mean, “ex” con artist? He never was one.
well said
You’re getting old!
The real joke is that I’ve actually met someone who claims to have been in a conversation with Elron, in which they were talking about “how to make a million dollars and keep it”, which he claims took place about 6 months before the establishment of Scientology.
This is a common claim, he supposedly said “writing for a penny a word is ridiculous, if a man truly wanted to make a million dollars he’d start his own religion.” The quote actually came from a talk he gave at a science fiction conference about a year before Dianetics came out.
??? It’s public record that he was sitting around a table with Larry Niven and two other “real” SF writers and made them a bet that he could create a religion and make a million dollars by the time they got together again the next year. He made fifteen million by then incidentally.
Who the heck is Elron??
L. Ron Hubbard. Author of Battlefield Earth (that great John Revolting movie)
Scientology jokes really are getting old. They could do way better jokes including the “…and it’s worse than everything we deal with combined!” joke.
Ok seriously, how is Scientology any more crazy or frightening than Christianity?
Talk to a scientologist and you’ll see…..they’re truly scary. Seriously.
I’ve only seen documentaries on Scientology, and they were scary enough!!
Each seems equally profitable. :-/
Unless you have a conscience holding you back, like I do.
Yup. Not a whole lot of difference between them and your average xtian mega-on- tv church. The hand is out and the gimme is on.
That’s all any religion is about isn’t it? Thought control and cash flow.
No. Some religions encourage you to liberate your yourself from the addictions of society. I’ll throw philosophical Daoism, some forms of Hinduism and schools of Buddhism that are meditation intensive. Granted, each has its occasional assmunch who insists on “guru worship” but exclude those, and you’ll find paths that lead to liberation. The big problem here is that most (99.99%) of people just don’t care. They want to watch tv, make money and have their religion handed to them. no one actually wants to do anything to better their condition. It’s as if we’re waiting for death to deal with the problems of life. No THAT is messed up. Until people actually take responsibility for themselves, yes, cattle will line up for thought control and pay well for it.
Hmm….. The poorest people I’ve ever met were also among the most faithful Christians… But that was apolitical and in Malawi, not America…
And rather ironic that more people have died in the name of god than Satan…
Just think of that the next time you bite into Christ’s body and/or drink his blood in church, then tell me if Satan’s really a bad guy
I wouldn’t be taking part in the Eucharist if I wasn’t seeking freedom from Satan…. And everybody dies…
What the hell?? Who bites…oh…I get it now.
You mean besides their “fair game” policy which states it is ok to stalk, harass, cheat, steal from, rob, assualt, and/or murder anyone designated fair game?
How about protocol 2r45 which is putting 2 round from a .45 caliber handgun in the heads of their enemies (That “protocol” is available on the internet, google it).
How about the concentration camps they run for people who want to leave Scientology? Or, the mysterious deaths of people such as Lisa McPherson?
Even the deepest nutball Christianity is cheese and crackers with your Mom compared to the oblique bizarreness that is Scientology. It’s just completely. F*cking. Bonkers.
Scientologists are almost as difficult to get rid of as Jehovah’s Witnesses, Kirby Vacuum Cleaner salesmen and Bally’s Gym memberships!
Eh, the simple answer is that Christianity, For the most part, is completely open about its views, (annoyingly so even.)
Scientology on the other had is festered with paranoia. You actually need to rank up within the church in order to learn more about the church.
Even the vatican, which has plenty of its own BS going on, at least admits its position on things (again sometimes annoyingly so.)
But if you think about it, it does explain why so many celebrities join, seeing as most people would rather watch a man they think is a moron then a man who has an opposing political opinion.
Those are “esoteric” teaching. A lot of religions have them. But they often don’t charge you insane amounts of cash for them. Come to think of it, that’s what TM does. Sad.
Rupert Grint sure has gained weight.
pml XDDDD
I was wondering why it looked like he had a beer gut…
*Butterbeer gut*
It’s true: Horizontal stripes make you look bigger.
After personall dealing with scientologists all the way over on my side of the worl (in Aust.) I really feel the need to make fun of them and since this is only the second scientology joke I have done, it is not getting old for me.
L
LOL
In before Anonymous, oh wait.
But don’t worry, you can allways join Christianity, where we telapathicly communicate with a Jewish zombie to appologise to him for the first two people on Earth eating an apple because of a talking snake, and a section of which is led by a former member of the Hitler Youth.
I told everyone at my school that the freakin’ Pope used to be a Nazi, but nobody believed me!
I’m not the only one who knows!!
Also, I think the previous pope had a girlfriend (BEFORE he became a priest people) that did in the holocaust. I could be mistaken, though.
*died
Guys, from the Wikipedia article on the “Hitler Youth” (German “Hitler Jugend”) – “The HJ was organized into corps under adult leaders, and the general membership comprised boys aged fourteen to eighteen. From 1936, membership of the HJ was compulsory for all young German men.”
From Doug Stanhope: The Nazi party was around for 12 years and got their butt handed to them. The Catholic church as a much longer glorified history of killing and plundering. I would be more worried if you told me that the new Nazi used to be a Pope.
Or you could always join Atheism. Where you…yeah.
all religions are silly superstitions used to control people.
Including Atheism.
Pray to Atheos, God of the Unbelievers!
Atheism is used to control people?
and
Atheists pray to “Atheos”?
How do u come up with this epic BS?
not all religion is silly suprestition, just around 99%. Budhism is ok, i think.
also athiesm is LACK of religion.
Actually, atheism is merely the belief that there are no gods…has nothing to do with religion. Simply a belief. No doctrine, no religion, no system. Simply one idea. There are no gods.
It can actually go a little farther. Athiests do not believe in God. Someone like Penn Gilette actually professes a profound belief that there is NO god! I always liked the little joke I heard from a Jesuit – an Agnostic is an Athiest who is hedging his bets.
What’s the difference between a cult and a religion?
50 years
According to the late Senator Strom Thurmond, a cult is any group that does not believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ. He used to include Mormons in this. He stated this often on the Senate Floor much to the embarrassment of the over 10% Mormon membership of the same Senate!
whats in the bowl?