VAMPIRES
This is how we want them
(Elvira, Mistress of the dark aka Cassandra Peterson)
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VAMPIRES
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vamp.
tit-amp
Get back to failing at failblog. >_>
booberella
LOL this isnt quite how I want mine. I do prefer Mr Lee or Mr Lugosi, although any attractive man might do. Just not a little fairy boy please
Not quite how I want mien either.
It is my belief that vampires are not sex icons.
I prefer terrifying monsters like they really are.
Yeah, what ever happened to blood engorged corpses leeching off the living?
Agreed. I miss Nosferatu.
Same :’(
Nosferatu was actually a huge symbol of homosexuality, Dracula was also a sexual demon. Vampires have been linked with sex from the very beginning, the act of sucking blood is incredibly sexual. The vampire penetrates the victim with his teeth, there is tons of sexual overtones to the monster that is a vampire.
But plenty of evil doomy horror as well right Ann? RIGHT?! O.o
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Do you find leeches sexy?
actually i believe that she’s a witch not a vampire.
It’s still how I prefer them.
She’s neither. She’s a ‘Horror Movie Hostess’, who just happens to have witch roots.
For more info watch her movie, ‘Elvira: Mistress of the Dark’.
In which she does at least one spell… would that not make her a witch as well?
I loved it when she sunk her stiletto into that schmuck’s forehead.
and she can ride my broomstick anytime
not really, no. maybe without the toilet brush on her head.
The what on her where now? I don’t see any of that stuff. :p
Wait, she has a head? *goes back and looks again* So she does! Imagine that!
lol.
I’m not sure she was ever defined as a vampire.
I prefer mine a la Kate Beckinsale in Underworld, thank you very much.
Nah, Zita Gorog (Amelia). That is how I like em
Im only 11 & wut is this ?
Your first step in conversion to manhood. Now print it out and take it into the bathroom.
LOL xDDD
Lassie can’t help you with this one, Timmy.
with a little peanut butter she can!
And I have met my sixth most intelligent person on the Internet. Your reply is made of win.
Troll, you say that on every picture. End yourself.
Elvira. Used to appear on MTV on Satellite when Satellite TV was in its infancy.
Before that she was a Saturday horror movie host on first and independent channel and then one of the superstations.
hi /b/rother, dont waste your time on this site
It’s a girl. You may now scream “ewww, cooties!”
NO IT IS NOT
Speak for yourself, sweetheart…
I’m not sure “Mistress of the dark” equals vampire, but I could be wrong.
It doesn’t matter. She can be MY mistress of the dark…IN the dark.
Ah ah ah, Ivan! We have eleven year-old trolls in our presence! *points at Timmy*
Well, I COULD have said “in my pants”.
That wouldn’t have worked! Jeez.
Well, it IS dark in my pants.
And lonely? And scary? And moldy? And…empty?
Oooh, burn.
x3
You win.
That’s it; keep feeding it. *facepalm*
I can’t help it. I have a soft spot for animals. :[
O HAI LOOK! ANOTHER WITTY VAMPIRE LOL!
Elvira wasn’t really a vampire but she’s definitely a vamp. Vampirella OTOH, [link]
She looks like Debbie Harry…
Yeah she was never a vampire, she was a witch. According to the movie anyway.
You are right sir, we should replace her picture with Nosferatu, now that is a real vampire.
Well, ACCORDING TO THE MOVIE, she was just a wise-cracking late-night TV show host who had a witch/warlock ancestor and another as a relative – the townsfolk accused her of witchcraft, and she bumbled through a couple of spell/recipes but…yeah.
There was a Movie??? I knew there was 2 videogames (I’ve got them at home somewhere!! I’ll have to see if I can dig them out) but I never knew there was a movie. Straight to Video/DVD I take it.
There have been two movies, and they should be required viewing everywhere. You’ll laugh ’til you snort.
What, like a whore?
And all those lols that are aiming on Twilight, THEY ARE GETTING OLD AND BORING!
She was NOT a whore… she was just easy!
No. No, it isn’t. I’ll have Angel, please. Or Angelus, for that matter.
I agree
I agree even more so :3
i too also agree with fruity people !
So she doesn’t suck …. blood?
Nope But think of all the other things she “can do” not having an unatural craving for fresh blood.
And you call us Twilighters disillusioned???
…because you are. Twilight fangirls are crazy and are not very smart. Now, turn around and do not continue to comment on this matter if you want to get out unscathed. This site does NOT need another idiot fangirls vs. intelligent people war.
I will admit that because you didn’t type in all caps, used proper grammar, and actually used a “smart word” [disillusioned], you’re probably not an insane fangirl idiot like the rest, but I’d prefer if we didn’t start another commenting war here. Any more bad grammar and my head may explode.
Spank me hard, sonny-boy! I’m a naughty, naughty girl!
That was disturbing. It’s even more disturbing due to the fact that I’m a girl.
WIN!!!
How’s it my fault you’re into bad grammers?
:kiss:
I’m not trying to start a war, I was just pointing out that it’s no more normal for women to walk around dressed like that than it is for people to sparkle.
Actually, I’d prefer sluts to gay, sparkling vampires. I’m sure we all would. I’m a girl and I don’t find the caption offensive. And I don’t think she’s dressed THAT badly.
Actually, I’d prefer vampires dressed like “that” to gay, sparkling vampires. I’m sure we all would. I’m a girl and I don’t find the caption offensive. And I don’t think she’s dressed THAT badly.
I don’t find the caption offensive either, I just find the topic slightly… repetitive.
Well, it’s not going away any time soon. As long as Twilight exists, it will be stupid. As long as it’s stupid, it will be mocked. As long as it’s mocked, it will be on this site. So, unless you want to end Twilight [and do humanity a favor] the LOLs are here to stay.
I dread to think what kind of a world this would be if we weren’t allowed to speak up against things we disagreed with, be it big ones like war and famine, or small ones like Twilight and Hannah Montana. Make as many LOLs as you like. But, to use your own logic; as long as Twilight is around, there will be LOLs mocking it. And as long as there are LOLs mocking it, people like me will be commenting on them. We’re here to stay too…
Exactly, but there are more intelligent people. Just remember who’s on your side, too.
“zOMGGG I LUVVVV Twiiliighttt! ♥♥♥♥Edward for EVERRRRR!! i luv twilight and edward is my boyfriend and it rox and you people r stoopidd!!”
I don’t agree with the personal opinions of everyone who votes for the same political party as me either, nevermind how they express said opinions. But at the end of the day I vote for the party, and not its voters.
Well, you’re still voting for Twilight, so it’s still a fail.
Ooo, rush me to the burn-unit…
As my dad would say: “Grab yourself a plate, because you just got served!” [He says things like that often.]
“As my dad would say: “Grab yourself a plate, because you just got served!” ”
Heehee, brilliant
“You can call me the bus, because I just took you to school!”
My dad is an encyclopedia of comebacks too. Sadly, they don’t translate too well into english
Ahh, my dad is a living reminder of the 90s. But he denies he ever had a mullet, which we all know he did.
Thankfully there always photographic evidence from the old days
We still have baby pictures of me and his mullet. He was also skinnier back then. Eh, I get my “strange” from him and my “violent” from my mum.
Sounds like an exciting combo
I lucked out; I got my dad’s strong opinions and my mum’s reserve. It’s a daily battle
Aha. It’s a killer combination. I dunno why my dad always calls me so weird. I get it from him!
Hehe, yeah that’s always my comback when dad tries to tease me too;
- It’s hereditary, I get it from my dad
Ahh, I didn’t inherit the Mr. T impersonation, though.
I pitty the fool who steals my lines?
He should!
you´re still making a big deal out of a kid´s book, so who´s really failing here?
Ha Ha! F*$king Burn!
Vampires are not people. They are Monsters from beyond the grave with a hunger for the blood of the living! Not cute or cudly or sparkley or motivated by love or sexual urges.XP No Thank You Stephanie Meyer you can keep your emo rainbow sparkle vampires.
Way More Normal For Women To Dress like that than it is for teenage boys to sparkle.
No dear. We call you delusional. Big difference.
Just because you can tell the difference between truth and fiction, doesn’t mean you have to…
Well, if you want to stay out of the loony bin, you should learn to.
And live a life completely void of imagination and fantasy? I’d actually prefer a padded cell to that miserable existance
I never said “live a life completely void of imagination and fantasy”, I said learn to tell the difference between life and sparkling vampires.
I can tell the difference just fine, I just chose not to every once in a while.
I’m sure people view you as perfectly sane while you pretend to be in a world full of sparkling vampires and angsty werewolves.
They do actually, that’s the brilliance of it. And Twilight isn’t alone in angsty werewolves; just look at Oz from Buffy…
…Lupin in Harry Potter…
Other people who pretend to be in Twilight Land? Because I doubt people other than them view you as sane while you do this.
Well, it’s not like I run around screaming “I am Switzerland”, with 50 reflectors glued to myself so I’ll sparkle properly. I just let fantasy seep a little into reality.
You probably think you were exaggerating, but I know people who do things like that.
Well, I’ll agree that’s taking it a step too far. But at the same time, I’m all for the “whatever makes you happy”-philosophy. I spent too much of my life basing my moves on what other people thought of me.
We all have. But it’s important not to be insane. I’ve never known anyone to glue reflectors on themselves, but I might know a few who do it in the privacy of their own homes…but who’s to say what vampire fantasies we act out when we’re alone?
… the reflector thing would actually be a really wickid halloween-costume…
Well, I don’t know about my fellow Cullen-holics, but my fantasies include far less innocent things than sparkling.
Hmmm…well, that’s…interesting. I know people who dressed up as Cullens for Halloween and covered themselves in craft glitter. They left a sort of trail everywhere they went.
Urgh, I HATE craft-glitter. I used to work in a kindergarden, the stuff sticks like glue. Three weeks later and you still find it everywhere
Ahaha. I meant the non-sticky kind. That didn’t work too well. They had to re-glitter at their lockers every hour.
Gives new meaning to powdering ones nose
Pahaa. At least they planned ahead. They brought tubes of it.
I agree not only is Twilight lame and off base but its unoriginal.
Boo Sparkley Vampires.
Most pop culture icons have fans, and people who hate them. It’s just the way things work. There is no right or wrong. They’re opinions.
Thats Your Opinion and its wrong!
The Vampira Show is still better
hard to believe that IRL she is a freckle faced Red Head!!
Red Head or Mistress of the dark, Either way she is HOT
Met her many years ago at Knott’s Berry Farm. She was not in character, and she was funny and kind and very very beautiful.
So. Very. Jealous.
She is so sweet and very funny.
I second that Motion of Hotness.
Elvira is not a vampire. However, if this type vampire is what you want, you probably should look up Carmilla.
Slutty and underdressed? Come up some new ideas for God’s sake, insulting Twilight is getting old.
So’s Twilight after only one movie, but they’re still going to make more – we won’t stop until they do.
Thank you.
The misogyny is rampant.
(Adds tally) 29
Woah! Extreme Bumpits! In her hair too!
Elvira is my home-girl!
I love that woman <3
0.o insta boner rite here lol
filled with STDs?
btw, the anti-twilighters are even more annoying than the twilight fans now. honestly, VAMPIRES ARE FICTIONAL! move on with your sorry lives!
Only if you’ll do the same!
Yeah… that’ll happen. Thats like asking water not to be wet.
We only seem annoying to you because you like that pile of crap. Whereas the rest of the world finds you lot annoying so… maybe we should attach a new section of the international space station and just squash you all in. No more OMG!!!!!!1111 EDWARDS SO HAWTSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!111
Win.
Boobs, this is how we want them.
There! Fixed!
Sadly enough if i wear a pushup bra and use some hair spray i look like this naturally.
Correction: this is how we wanted them twenty years ago. Vampire grannies? Not sexy.
us chicks dont
oh gods hexes yes *bite me bite me *@.@
She looks like Bellatrix from Harry Potter.
We? You must have a mouse in your pocket.
…I’m not sure exactly like THIS, but we’re at least getting somewhere. Let’s try less revealing clothes >_>
Elvira is an icon, also a very attractive sexy actress who fits the image perfectly! My favorite non blood sucking vamp of all time.
She’s a witch and believe it or not….naturally ginger. The chest is her own though, nothing fake there….’cept the beehive.
Someone pass her the hair conditioner! She looks silly.
If you’re going to make a non-vampire a vampire for everyone *cough*Twilight*cough* this is definitely how you do it–I love the styles back then- And the dress isn’t that bad, btw, it’s the pose.
Whats the Pose? I have a poster of this same picture on a tin sign on my basement wall and I see nothing wrong with her at all its all for show and show it does.
Grammer Nazis can eat it!
She’s back on the TV now, y’know. (yaaay)
it’s funny because in real life she’s…..GINGER.
This makes me think of Geena Davis as Odette in Transylvania 6-5000.