Here is a list of movies that “will probably never make it onto the big screen,” courtesy of Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader #17, published in 2004.
Via: Reddit
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Avatar? Never Heard of It
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'Razzi Sez:
Aaron Hong on Dear God, WHY Did I Give Him M… Nightshift on Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Tay… Oathy on Dear God, WHY Did I Give Him M… Chibi-chan on Disney’s Hunger Gam… Iridian on Does “Snow White And The… Agent Tasmania on Wrong Luna scottpilgrim on Make a M**a F**ka Say DAM… Stephie on You’re a Felon Now,… TheBrigeedaRocks on Dear God, WHY Did I Give Him M… mm on Make a M**a F**ka Say DAM… 
Cheezburger Company Blog
More I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
I Can Has Cheezburger? - Lolcats n Funny Pictures
Animal Videos: Baby Elephant Rolling Around
Lolcats - Lolcats n' Funny Cat Pictures
Radar cat hears you
I Has A Hotdog - Loldogs n Cute Puppies
Bad News
Animal Capshunz - All of the Internet's Animals. Captioned
He Will Have Revenge
Animal Videos - Cute and Hilarious Animal Videos
Paper Bag Cat
Animal Gifs - Cute and Hilarious Animal Gifs
Owl Minding His Own Business
Daily Squee - So cute your brain might explode.
High Fashion Bun
Historic LOLs - Captioned Portraits of Yore
The Surrealist Alphabet Primer
My Food Looks Funny - Funny Food Photos
Cupcakewurst
So Much Pun - Visual Puns and Jokes
DAT HAIR
Totally Looks Like - Stuff That Looks Like Other Stuff
Wrestler "Edge" Totally Looks Like Matthew Lillard
Must Have Cute - See. Want. Must Have!
Fish Bones Soap
If Style Could Kill - OMG Style!
Ring of the Day: Saxon's Ring
Pundit Kitchen - Lol News and Lol Politics Fun
Crowd Pleaser
Lovely Listing - Strange Findings in Real Estate Listings
Ample Room For Crap-Stacking
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Nice.
i have this book. before avatar came out i read it and didn’t think anything of it. recently (post avatar) i happened to read it again and laughed so hard.
Ive begun boycotting cameron’s movies till he stops pushing his environmentalist agenda.
Good luck with that.
“I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” Funny… I remember that line being in a Cameron movie.
Yeah, damn that environmental agenda, we need more movies showing us how sexy and mysterious smog can be and how much more beautiful Appalachia could be once we’ve leveled all the mountaintops for coal mining, and more romantic madcap comedies about the hilarity that ensues when you get cancer.
Are you being sarcastic?
Long time no see wrt “The Crapture”, but odds-on that’s sarcasm and/or irony, yes.
Proof he didn’t actually work on it for the 20842948290321 years he spent on it.
lol…have this book too, good read lol…don’t remember that.
Haven’t seen the movie…never will. I’ve already seen Dances With Wolves and Pocahontas…
Fern Gully?
I thought the same thing!! Big blue forest fairies.
You’re a retarded moron. You don’t watch Avatar for the story, you watch it for the visuals, which I assure you that your precious Dances with Wolves and Pocahantas are nowhere comparable to Avatar in that regard.
“You’re a retarded moron”
Followed by essentially “You watch this movie for pretty pictures, not story.”
Stay classy.
Bardo, marry me and have my children. I actually LoL’d at that!
Lol! It’s always nice to hear old rejection-y things about stuff that’s famous now, like that one rejection letter for “Fawlty Towers” or the negative comments about The Beatles right before they hit it big.
One record label told the Beatles, “Guitar bands are on the way out.”
Then they got signed and shortly became more popular than Jesus.
Yeah, it’s totally silly. It only took 10 years for him to find anyone willing to give the movie a shot… and he paid for most of it…
Yeah, that idea will never catch on. I won’t make 2.5 billion dollars in the global box office. Impossible.
I want to see Dieter now…
Touch my monkey, touch it, rub it, love it.
should have staid in the book.
What’s wrong with wanting to protect the environment? Why should it not be pushed?
And no it shouldn’t have stayed in the book. It’s a good film.
ANd when did they make the change from purple to blue skin?
Guessing when they started making the movie.
same reason they changed josh to jake, zulieka to neytiri.
PS Not saying I’m one of those rabid enviro-types, just that I don’t see what’s so boycott-worthy about the whole thing.
Everyone needs something to be all mad about. The more popular something is, the more people who will be against it on “principle”. I say protect the enviroment (though not at the cost of human life).
“Dieter” died when Mike Myers read the script (which he had written himself), then looked in the mirror and said, “Your story has become tiresome.”
Well, I suppose in ’99 they didn’t have the technology to do it, as it says, so he just waited it out until it could be done.
Well Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within was underway at the time. It just took 4 years on a box farm of Pentium 3 machines to render, and it financially crashed Square Pictures. It’s still one of my favorite sci-fi movies.
so..this is boring
I have the book this is in and when I re-read it recently, I giggled.
I have this book, and I thought this was pretty awesome LOL.
wats the book called ???the title of it …???
“Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader”. It says it in the description. You can find it in the “Humor” section at most bookstores (Border, Barnes & Noble, etc)
I just want to point out, Dieter sounds suspiciously like Borat (kidnapping Pam Anderson instead of Hasselhoff).