
YES! Thanks to Charlie Sheen, I look sane!
-Tom Cruise
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YES! Thanks to Charlie Sheen, I look sane!
-Tom Cruise
Picture by: Unknown


a sex symbol? me? those nerds should get out more!
-Patrick Stewart
Picture by: Unknown

Poor Lindsay.
Last week, Judge Stephanie Sautner sentenced the troubled young actress to 120 days in jail and 360 hours of community service following her dramatic and (extremely public) court case for jewelry theft. Lindsay only served five hours of her sentence, however, after a local bondsman put up the reported $75K to free her from Lynwood Correctional Facility and her case is now in appeals.
She will be serving her community service immediately at LA’s Downtown Women’s Shelter while her case goes to appeal, but I say BOO!!! to that. There’s no story there! I mean, how will people ever make a movie out of something that actually helps people? Answer: THEY WON’T.

-Michael Bay will have none of it
So, why not make things a little more interesting? I mean, her life is already a media circus, so why not up the stakes. What if we scrap the whole “Women’s Shelter” thing and just give Lindsay Lohan her OWN pee-wee hockey team!

-Terrible artist’s rendering of Lindsay’s hockey team
If Lohan’s team of underdogs can work together to overcome impossible odds and win the big game, Judge Sautner seals Lindsay’s criminal record and forces Disney to distribute the movie nationwide. However, if her team loses, her misdemeanor charge is immediately raised to a felony and she serves at least 12 months behind bars.
Because really, Hollywood is out of ideas and celebrities aren’t treated like regular people anyway, so let’s cut all the bullsh*t litigation and boring deliberation and get right to the good stuff! I demand to be entertained, whatever the cost!

MYTHBUSTING We told you not to try it at home
-Scanners
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