Visit our friends at The FW to watch clips from all 10 spinoff TV shows!

Another great film alphabet illustration by Stephen Wildish.

In case you missed it:
1960s Film Alphabet
1970s Film Alphabet
1980s Film Alphabet
1990s Film Alphabet

Bonus: Here’s the 1980s Film Alphabet in case you missed it!

Forever heart the ’80s!

Visit our friends at The FW to watch clips from all 7 non-Christmas Christmas movies!

Visit our friends at The FW to see clips from all 12 cheesy holiday movies!

JAWS 5
Starring Kim Kardashian
“I think we’re gonna need a bigger butt”

(Kim Kardashian)

LoL by:

madcapped

Picture by: Unknown

Kiss Goes To Harlem One of the lesser known Blacksploitation films

(KISS)

LoL by:

Greybeard55

Picture by: Unknown

Also coming out this week is “The Lion King 3D.” I didn’t put it in this week’s review because it’s “The Lion King.” The movie itself is just as good as it was in 1994. The only downside is that while some scenes, like the stampede, are amazing in 3D, the conversion flattens and darkens the colors a lot. If you’re really itching to see “The Lion King,” get the DVD. Everyone else should see “Drive.” It’s certainly better than anything else out right now.

Submitted by:

Big_Cat

Not bad, Hollywood, not bad. Two good movies out this weekend certainly makes up for last week. Of the two, I’d say “Contagion” comes out on top. Just barely though. “Warrior” is great too if you’re looking for some good fight scenes in addition to the story.

I guess Summer’s officially over. There isn’t even one good major release this week. If you aren’t in the mood for insane Chinese cinema, there’s not much out there. Actually, I do recommend “Attack the Block” if you’re lucky enough to have it playing near you. I never got to give it a proper review due to its insanely limited release, but now I’ve seen it, it’s one of the better movies of the summer. It’s British sci-fi comedy, similar to “Shaun of the Dead,” but with aliens. It’s even got Nick Frost in it. In fact, that’s what you should do this weekend. Find some way to see “Attack the Block.”

Not a particularly strong offering this week. “Our Idiot Brother” is good, but you won’t miss anything by waiting to rent the DVD. Maybe go see something you missed out on earlier in the summer.

Two good horror movies in two weeks. I guess there’s just something about the end of summer that puts me in the mood for a good scare. I also like this recent trend of studios not shying away from making R-rated movies. Even if “Conan the Barbarian” isn’t the best movie of the week, I wouldn’t mind if there were more movies like it.

Rubik Kubrick
-Stanley Kubrick

Submitted by:

maxystone

Via tdw

WARNING: Contains spoilers to the movies!
-J.K. Rowling

LoL by:

berryfield

Picture by: Unknown

So apparently, “The Change-Up” was kind of a big advertiser when last week’s review went up. I don’t actually mean for these things to happen. I mean, it gives this whole operation some semblance of journalistic integrity, and we can’t have any of that. If only both movies weren’t so abysmally terrible.

This week isn’t looking too good for movies. If horror’s not your thing, there really isn’t much for you. For everyone else though, “Final Destination 5″ is incredibly fun, even if the word “final” grows less correct with each installment.

“Planet of the Apes” defies all expectations and ends up being really good. Although, I wonder if Tom Felton will ever play anything other than a gigantic a-hole. As for “Change-Up,” you’re really better off seeing something else. It’s not like there’s a shortage of raunchy comedies out there.

Here’s an awesome collection of “paper dolls” by illustrator Kyle Hilton.

Check it out!

A highlight reel showcasing the 12 feature films produced by Pixar. It’s so beautiful…

Via tdw

There’s something for everyone this week. Whether you’re in the mood for action, romance, or need to extract information from terror suspects, Hollywood has something for you. At least there’s something worth seeing outside of all the summer blockbusters.

Smurf tweet via jimgaffigan.

Are you tired of superheroes yet? Hollywood doesn’t think so, nor do they seem to care. I mean, you got Harry Potter, what are you complaining about? If you are in that boat, don’t worry. This is a good weekend to catch a movie you may have missed.

Submitted by:

Big_Cat

Yes, somehow after ripping on a sponsor last week, I’m still here. Could have done without the beatings though.

Wow, two really good movies came out this week. It’ll be no surprise when “Harry Potter” comes out on top, but it would be nice to see “Winnie the Pooh” come in second. Which one do I recommend? Any of ‘em that are put in front of ya. I’ll get back to ya on that.

Not enough Sarah Palin for you? Try over here!

So you want to see some graphs?

Click image to enlarge

The choice is pretty clear cut this week: “Horrible Bosses” is the one to see. If you decide you’d rather see something else this weekend, that’s fine. Just remember: Kevin James’s comedy makes monkeys cry.

So, you love being evil but are worried about the short life expectancy of being a professional action movie henchman? Fear not! These five tips will help keep you safe from danger, and out of harm’s way. Enjoy!


Even if they look dead, heroes have a handy way of coming back again and again. Treat them like you would a zombie, and empty a clip or two directly into their face. Remember: there’s no such thing as overkill!


Always do the opposite of this! Tell your henchman buddies you gotta take a leak, or that you’ve got to answer an important phone call, and head for the high ground. Remember: there’s no shame in taking pot shots at the hero from a distance!


Kids may seem innocent, but that cute teddy bear could be a carefully concealed bomb! Remember: you’re a henchman, NOT a babysitter. Shoot first and ask questions later!


“This guy don’t seem so tough” is NEVER a healthy thought for a henchman! Rememeber: never let your ego write checks that your ass can’t cash!

-Harrison Ford

Grande Gatto here. Summer has begun, and so far most of the blockbusters have been really disappointing. This week is no exception. If you must see a big summer movie this weekend, see “Super 8.” If you’ve already seen that, go see it again. It’s really the best you’re going to get.

“Transformers: Dark of the Moon:” Can this be it? Can we please stop putting Shia LaBeouf into things after this? The first “Transformers” made up for him by actually being an enjoyable movie, but now you don’t even have that. Why does he get so much more screen time than Optimus Prime? How could anyone possibly think we want to watch Pube-stache McGee here instead of giant robots beating the everloving f**k out of each other? Also, Megan Fox has been replaced with somebody else. Not that you really noticed her there in the first place.

“Larry Crowne:” I shouldn’t like this as much as I do. It really isn’t that good. It’s a paint-by-numbers romantic comedy with predictable jokes, and an unoriginal storyline. But… it’s Tom Hanks! He could make a movie where he talks to a piece of sporting equipment for an hour and a half and it would still be amazing. Say, that’s not a bad idea…

“Monte Carlo:” No, sorry, I don’t do Disney Channel movies. It has to come out in theaters to… what? Are you sure? Alright. It looks like somebody checked the wrong box somewhere and gave this hour and a half of product placement a theatrical release. I guess this is supposed to be a vehicle/breakout role for Selena Gomez, but her performance is so unmemorable, I’d have a hard time pointing out which one she is. She’s just not that much of a person.

Hey! Why’d you wake me up early? Oh. Apparently, I’ve been moved to Thursdays so you can have more time to decide what movie to see this weekend. I’m Grande Gatto (Italian grammar is hard), and unlike last week, there’s one movie actually worth seeing.

“Cars 2:” This one hurts. It had to happen sometime, I suppose: the first bad movie to come out of Pixar. It feels like Disney said to them. “Okay, we get it, you can craft deep emotional stories and all that happy horse s**t, but we’d really like to sell some toys.”

“Bad Teacher:” Bad movie. There, I have already put more effort into this review than the writers of “Bad Teacher” put into any joke in the movie. This movie is that kid who tries to impress you with the new swear words he just learned, but has no idea how to use them yet. It really wants to be accepted by the Rogens and Apatows of the world, and doesn’t understand why nobody ever laughs at its jokes.

“Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop:” Yes he can. He can stop anytime he wants. He just doesn’t want to right now. And after seeing this documentary, that is just fine with me.

Remember how the past couple weekends had at least one movie worth seeing? That was nice. This weekend, why don’t you go outside? I hear it’s nice out.

“Green Lantern:” No doubts about it, this movie is awful. The trailers even showed the whole thing and it still looked like a 1950s B-movie with a bunch of CG thrown at it. The only reason to see it is Ryan Reynolds’s… acting. Yeah. You could bounce a quarter off that acting.

“Mr. Popper’s Penguins:” What is it with these obscure children’s books all getting turned into movies lately? Jim, if you want to make a movie kids will like, why not another “Ace Ventura?” Piccolo Gatto loved those. Hell, I’d even settle for a sequel to “The Mask.” What? No, I’m afraid you’re quite mistaken. In fact, I’ve never even heard of an actor named Jamie Kennedy.

Submitted by:

Big_Cat

This is the 43,809,489,028,309th trailer for the film, which apparently a few people are excited to see, and it is also the last. Rejoice, cry, do whatever it is you do, and I’ll see you in line outside the theater soon.

This blurb is not in Swedish.

Grande Gatto here, and Hollywood really doesn’t have much to offer this week. There’s a monster terrorizing children with deafening noise and a visage too horrific to behold, and there’s a movie called “Super 8.”

“Super 8:” J.J. Abrams finally makes the monster movie he’s been trying to make since “Godzilla.” (Yes, that piece of crap was his doing. Explains a lot about “Cloverfield,” doesn’t it?) Of course after all the build up from the trailers and the suspenseful first act, the monster can’t be anything but a let down. In fact, I bet you walk out of the theater thinking, “Grande Gatto’s version was better.”

“Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer:” Hollywood apparently realized that with “Super 8″ coming out this weekend, parents might see a movie with their kids that everyone enjoys. Naturally, they decided they’d better put an end to that real quick and that is how “Judy Moody” came to be.

You gotta do what you gotta do MTV, but it’s pretty obvious that your award show’s entire MO is basically: nominate good sh*t, give awards to bad sh*t. Repeat.

What kind of way is that to operate?!

Yeah, the MTV Movie Awards don’t matter, but it’s the mother f**king principle of the whole thing! “Twilight” should never beat “Harry Potter” and that is a FACT.

And the BULLSH*T awards go to…

Award list via imdb
Gif via Señor Gif

“X-Men: First Class:” No. Not going to happen this time. I shelled out money for both “X-Men 3″ and “Wolverine,” and you know what? I’m done. Fool me once, you can’t get fooled again or something like that. I don’t care who’s in it, or who directed it…what? The guy who did “Kick Ass?” Damn it. Here. Here’s my wallet, Marvel. Just take it. Kick a few bucks to DC if you run into each other.

“Beginners:” It may not be reviewing as well as “X-Men,” but that doesn’t matter. Why? Christopher Plummer. If I can sit through that godawful chicken cartoon he did, I can definately put down cash for this. Now, if you will excuse me. Edelweiss, every morning you greet me.

“Love Wedding Marriage:” After seeing “Tangled,” did you warm up to Mandy Moore a little bit? Maybe you started to think she wasn’t so bad? In fact maybe you wouldn’t mind seeing her on screen again, opposite some dude from “Twilight.” If so, this is all your fault. Now apologize to the rest of humanity be careful next time.

Original artwork by Derek Eads

Disclaimer: so, so, so not safe for work.

With so many movies coming out each week, it can be hard to decide which one to go see. With that in mind, we here at roflrazzi bring you “Cinema del Grande Gatto.” I’m Grande Gatto, or Big Cat if you wish, and using my powers of midnight screenings and baseless assumption, I will attempt to guide you through each weekend’s new releases.

“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides:” Most likely, you already know if you’re going to see this one or not. Did you like the last two Pirates movies? This one is pretty much the same. It doesn’t offer anything new, and what’s there doesn’t really excite the way it… oh, Johnny Depp in 3D… pretty. Where was I? Oh yeah, “Pirates of the Caribbean:” this week’s top… pretty.

“Midnight in Paris:” Believe it or not there are other movies coming out this week. Not that anyone cares, but critics are calling this Woody Allen film his best of the last few years. Wow, let’s not go overboard with the compliments there. The main problem here is the same one that all his movies have: every single character sounds like Woody Allen. Despite that one issue, the movie is actually not bad. There are laughs to be had if you can stand Allen’s awkward rambling style. And it’s only 90 minutes, so it’s got that going for it.

“The Lion of Judah:” This movie comes from a studio called “Animated Family Films.” With a name that creative, you know you can expect only the finest of animated fare. The trailer for this movie informs us that it is set in a lifetime where an adventure takes place. Specific, no? Yes, this movie features CG that would be at home on the Playstation one, and religious overtones that make the Narnia movies look subtle. But if you’re looking for a decent movie you can take the family to… see “Pirates” instead.

Women must always be clumsy, because without an obvious lack in motor skills and/or balance the stereotypical Prince Charming may never fall in love and rescue you from the horrors of being single and totally miserable!

Source Dan Meth

For hours now, Lucasfilm has been teasing a big “Star Wars” announcement. Well, wait no longer! The entire “Star Wars” saga is coming to Blu-Ray this September. Take a peek at the box set artwork above. I’m already in line to buy my copy!

Source: thisisnthappiness

Source: XKCD