Grande Gatto here. Summer has begun, and so far most of the blockbusters have been really disappointing. This week is no exception. If you must see a big summer movie this weekend, see “Super 8.” If you’ve already seen that, go see it again. It’s really the best you’re going to get.
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon:” Can this be it? Can we please stop putting Shia LaBeouf into things after this? The first “Transformers” made up for him by actually being an enjoyable movie, but now you don’t even have that. Why does he get so much more screen time than Optimus Prime? How could anyone possibly think we want to watch Pube-stache McGee here instead of giant robots beating the everloving f**k out of each other? Also, Megan Fox has been replaced with somebody else. Not that you really noticed her there in the first place.
“Larry Crowne:” I shouldn’t like this as much as I do. It really isn’t that good. It’s a paint-by-numbers romantic comedy with predictable jokes, and an unoriginal storyline. But… it’s Tom Hanks! He could make a movie where he talks to a piece of sporting equipment for an hour and a half and it would still be amazing. Say, that’s not a bad idea…
“Monte Carlo:” No, sorry, I don’t do Disney Channel movies. It has to come out in theaters to… what? Are you sure? Alright. It looks like somebody checked the wrong box somewhere and gave this hour and a half of product placement a theatrical release. I guess this is supposed to be a vehicle/breakout role for Selena Gomez, but her performance is so unmemorable, I’d have a hard time pointing out which one she is. She’s just not that much of a person.
